Relationships
Five signs you’re spoiling your kids
Raising children is undoubtedly a complex and challenging task, and every parent wants to do their best to ensure their child grows up happy, healthy, and well-adjusted. However, some parents may inadvertently spoil their children in the quest to provide the best for their kids.
Spoiling a child can have long-term negative consequences on their development, behaviour, and ability to cope with life’s challenges.
Below, we will explain five common ways parents might spoil their children and strategies to avoid these pitfalls.
- Giving in to every demand
When parents constantly give in to their child’s demands, they teach the child that they can get whatever they want, whenever they want.
This behaviour can lead to a sense of entitlement and a lack of appreciation for the value of things.
However, this may lead to the child developing unrealistic expectations and becoming easily frustrated when they don’t get their way.
It can also hinder the child’s ability to handle disappointment and build resilience.
Control tactics:
Set boundaries: Establish and enforce rules and limits as a parent. Explain to your child why they cannot always have what they want.
Teach delayed gratification: Encourage your child to wait for certain things and understand saving and earning rewards.
- Overprotecting
While it’s natural to want to protect your child from harm, excessive protection can prevent them from learning to handle challenges and setbacks independently.
Therefore, the child may develop anxiety or fear when faced with new situations.
They might also need more problem-solving skills and confidence in their abilities.
Control tactics:
Encourage independence in them: Allow your child to take on age-appropriate responsibilities and make their own decisions.
Let them fail: Permit your child to experience failure and learn from their mistakes. Only offer support and guidance rather than solving problems for them.
- Not enforcing consequences
When parents fail to enforce consequences for misbehaviour, children learn that their actions do not have repercussions.
This can lead to a lack of respect for rules and authority.
Hence, the child may develop behavioural problems and struggle with self-discipline.
They might also need help in school and social settings where rules and borders are essential.
Control tactics:
Constant discipline: Implement consistent and fair consequences for misbehaviour. Ensure that the child understands the link between their actions and the consequences.
Give positive reinforcement: Encourage good behaviour with positive reinforcement, such as praise or rewards, to promote accountability.
- Overindulging with material possessions
Providing children with excess toys, gadgets, and other material possessions can lead to a sense of materialism and a lack of appreciation for what they have.
The child may develop a constant desire for more, never feeling satisfied with what they have.
Also, they might need help understanding the value of money and hard work.
Control tactics:
Limit gifts
Encourage gratitude from them:
- Failing to teach responsibility
When parents do everything for their children, they miss important lessons about responsibility and self-sufficiency.
This can limit the child’s development of essential life skills.
This may result in the child becoming overly reliant on others to meet their needs and might cause them to struggle with basic tasks and responsibilities as they grow older.
Control tactics
Assign chores: To help your child develop a sense of responsibility, give your child chores and responsibilities around the house appropriate for their age.
Teach self-care skills: Encourage your child to take care of their own needs, such as dressing themselves, making their bed, and packing their school bag.
These are five signs you’re spoiling your child as a parent.
By recognising and addressing these common ways of spoiling or harming a child, parents can help their children grow into well-rounded, responsible, and resilient individuals.
However, there is always time to make positive changes and guide your child towards a healthier and more balanced upbringing.
Relationships
Olajumoke Onibread narrates how ex-husband assaulted and ruined her career
Olajumoke Orisaguna, the Nigerian model famously known as Olajumoke Onibread, has recounted her harrowing experience with domestic abuse.
Olajumoke rose to fame in 2016 after accidentally walking into a photo shoot with British rapper Tinie Tempah, captured by TY Bello. However, she disappeared from the public eye, leaving many wondering about her whereabouts.
In a recent interview with City FM, Olajumoke alleged that she endured a toxic relationship with her ex-husband Sunday Orisaguna.
She said they lived in Ire, Osun state before she relocated to Lagos. The model described the environment at their Ire home as “hostile”, citing her mother-in-law’s “mistreatment” and Sunday’s “physical abuse”.
She said after relocating to Lagos, she started hawking bread before crossing paths with TY Bello. She said Sunday, however, joined her in Lagos, and the alleged abuse continued.
Olajumoke said she felt ashamed to deny claims of marriage due to their two children. She claimed that her career suffered after their separation, alleging that Sunday maligned her reputation and that of her supporters.
“The time we were in Ire, we stayed in my husband’s family house and there is no way you stay in that kind of place that you would not encounter problems. My mother-in-law was very hostile towards me and I would have to close my hairdressing shop on time just so I could go make dinner at home,” she said.
“And it was whatever she told her son is what he listens to. He would not even listen to my own side of the story before he started beating me up. Whenever me and his mother had misunderstandings, he would not even listen to me before hitting me. He would beat me to the extent that my face and body would be swollen. Sometimes he would even make use of a belt. That was when we were in Ire, Osun state.
“I would hide what was happening because I did not want my mom to hear. She also lived within the same vicinity as us. Before when I go and report to her, she’ll say she did not give me out in marriage to anyone. Even my mum’s younger sister was against me marrying him, as she had lived longer in Ire than me, so she knew what she was saying. But when the pregnancy issue happened, there was nothing anyone could do.
“So my mum will tell me she did not bless any marriage and she cannot also ask me to leave there, so she did not involve herself in the issue. When he beat me, I would not be able to wear short-sleeved clothes, but long-sleeved dresses. I did not tell anyone, only those who lived with us in the house knew about it. Fast forward to January 2016 when I wanted to move to Lagos, we were frying akara for his dad’s remembrance when I had an issue with his elder sister.
“As usual, he beat me up and I decided that I was going to leave, move to Lagos, and start working at the bakery because I had been there before. The third day after that incident, I packed my load and brought my two children with me to Lagos because I could not leave them there. Getting to the bakery, I had to explain to my friend what happened and she was happy that I had finally left because she was part of the people that warned me about him.
“What I am saying now, I have never said it out before. Even when I met TY Bello and I told her that I had a husband, my friend was furious when she found out. She was like I do not have sense, why would I say someone who beats me is my husband? I had to explain that I had to say that because I have children. That was how he came to Lagos. Even in the house that was rented for me in Surulere, he would still beat me up.
“I did not even tell TY Bello what was going on. I could not even admit that we were not married. I am a very gentle person so I did not tell anyone what was going on, I was enduring all of it. Sometimes when he goes out to drink, because he is someone to have a good time, when he gets back and a minor misunderstanding happens, he would start beating me again. It is almost four years since we separated.
“While he was beating me, he did not have a job. I was the one who would go out to hustle for us because I did not want my children to suffer. He would just stay at home and sleep or go out to drink. I did not even disturb him from doing these things, I just wanted him to stop beating me. Then he also started monitoring me when I went to work. If I go for photoshoots, sometimes I come back very late. He would accuse me of sleeping around with other men.
“So I decided to finally leave him. It got so bad that he would even start insulting my parents. It was when I separated from him, that was when everything started going down the drain because he started spoiling my name. All those who had helped me then, he started saying bad things against them. Since then, things started going down.”
Olajumoke has returned to the spotlight as a radio presenter with her talk show ‘Kilon Shele’.
She disclosed that her radio show will focus on her personal story, including her experiences with exploitative managers who took advantage of her lack of education.
Relationships
Fans confused as Chike poses with mystery woman
Chike, the Nigerian singer and songwriter, has sparked romance rumours after sharing an intimate photo with a mystery woman on Instagram.
The ‘Boo of the Booless’ hitmaker posted the picture on Wednesday, showcasing the pair in traditional Igbo and Yoruba attire.
He captioned the photo: “When I wake in the morning, I thank God for you”.
However, it remains unclear whether the photo is a glimpse into Chike’s personal life or a promotional shot for an upcoming music video.
Comments like “Happy married life o,” “my man pls don’t break my heart oo,” and “omo see as my heart cut babe stop naw” flooded the singer’s page.
The development comes as a surprise, considering Chike’s previous admission that he has never told a woman “I love you”.
In a 2022 interview, the 31-year-old singer revealed that saying “I love you” makes him feel vulnerable.
Relationships
Meagan Good, Jonathan Majors are engaged
The Hollywood stars Meagan Good and Jonathan Majors are engaged.
The couple announced their engagement on Sunday at the 2024 Ebony Power 100 List event held at Nya Studios in Los Angeles.
Meagan showed off her engagement ring while the lovebirds posed for loved-up photos on the red carpet.
They also revealed why they chose the particular event to go public with their engagement.
“Ebony Power 100 is the event that we met at in the bathrooms, in the unisex bathroom,” Meagan said.
Good was married to DeVon Franklin, the US pastor and producer, from 2012 to 2021. She and Majors were first linked romantically in May 2023.
Earlier this year, Good opened up about how friends advised her about the scrutiny she could face by being with him. She also discussed how she has stood by him through his challenges.
Majors was found guilty of assault in the third degree and harassment in December 2023, following a March 2023 arrest in New York.
He was arrested after allegedly assaulting Grace Jabbari, his ex-girlfriend.
In April 2024, Majors was sentenced to one year of domestic violence counseling, which includes a 52-week, in-person program in Los Angeles. He was also required to continue mental health therapy and provide regular updates on his progress.
Also, the court issued a permanent protective order between Majors and Jabbari, with potential jail time for any violations of his sentencing terms.
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