Everyone struggles with breaking up, but some guys think the solution is to give us a bogus excuse for it
The Excuse: “It’s not you, it’s me.”
What it really means:
This is probably the most overused and clichéd excuse in the history of dating. “this is supposed to hurt the girl’s feelings less, but it’s just a way for the guy to feel less guilty.”
2. The Excuse: “Our lives are going in different directions.”
I know this bogus one-liner all too well. When my ex-boyfriend broke up with me (over Skype!) after almost one and a half years of dating, he gave me this excuse “partially due to the fact that I ‘want kids one day’ and he doesn’t like kids really at all,”
Even though we had been together for so long, this sounds like a fake excuse to me.
3. The Excuse: “You’re just so much more mature than me.”
A senior at Yale, went through a bad breakup when her boyfriend blamed her for her “maturity,” when really it sounds like his immaturity was the problem.
What it really means:
This is a just polite way for a guy to say he wants “to keep partying and hooking up with girls,” Laura says. This guy is actually being pretty honest; he does have some growing up to do. “When your guy utters this line, believe him the first time!” Smith warns. “Let his mother mother him.”
4. The Excuse: “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Is this the biggest breakup paradox or what? “This guy dumped me twice because he (ironically) didn’t want me to get hurt,”…
What it really means:
There might be some truth in this excuse, because if a guy liked you in the first place, he genuinely cares about your feelings. However, “he thinks his weaselly excuse will go across better than the fact that he decided to date somebody else or some other thing that might be hurtful.” We knew it was too selfless to be true.
5. The Excuse: “I might be moving out of state in a couple of years. I don’t want to date you and then just move away.”
A Blog reader said her boyfriend broke up with her using this line. “He didn’t want to date me anymore, so he made up a really dumb excuse,” she says.
What it really means:
This guy is also pretexting good intentions to cover up the fact that he isn’t interested in your relationship. He may truly have plans for the future that “involve [him] being single,” He is not willing to give you the time that you deserve.
6. The Excuse: “I can’t do this anymore.”
“A guy got caught lying to me (he said he was going to bed, but I went for a walk with my roommate and found him messing around with some girls on my floor), and instead of manning up, he texted me saying, ‘I just can’t do this,’”
This excuse basically works in every possible situation, and it doesn’t mean very much at all. Someone who gives you this line is either too lazy to come up with a legitimate reason or too much of a coward to be honest.
Either way, he’s definitely not a catch. “Yes, adult relationships take work,” “If he is not ready to make the effort, send him packing.” Now that’s advice we like.
7. The Excuse: “I’m not really over my ex, so it’s not fair to you.”
What it really means:
This is yet another commonplace excuse guys give you instead of telling you the truth. Although he may very well still be hung up on his ex, if he liked you enough, this wouldn’t be a problem.
“You would essentially be a rebound,” And nobody wants that.
8. The Excuse: “I’m not ready to be in a relationship.”
Mary a blog reader, describes a relationship she had: “He was moving a bit fast in the beginning, but I slowed things down because I didn’t want to rush into anything,” she says. “And then a month after we became official, he broke it off with the excuse: ‘I thought I was ready, but I realized I’m actually not ready to have a girlfriend.'” Talk about ironic!
What it really means:
“it means that he jumped into a relationship without realizing the responsibilities that came along with it.”“What he really means is, ‘I just want to party and have a lot of sex with a lot of different women,’”
9. The Excuse: “I’m bringing you down.”
“My ex told me that I had a lot of potential and he was ‘bringing me down by distracting me from my schoolwork!’” says Aja
Aja’s interpretation is that “he wanted a guilt-free way to break up, so he was trying to convince both of us he was a negative influence on me.”
Bottom line, a guy who uses this excuse is looking for the easy way out. However he “still wants you to feel good about yourself.”
10. The Excuse: “Summer is on its way, so let’s see how we feel about each other in the fall.”
“The first time I think it was definitely an easy way out,”. “We could have made it through the summer, and I later learned it was just because he wanted to end it but wanted a more ‘legitimate’ excuse.”
What it really means:
Depending on the situation, this can truly mean that the guy is not ready to commit right before the summer – understandably so. But in Chloe’s case, this was just a convenient way for her ex to avoid admitting that he didn’t want to be in their relationship anymore.
