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‘Shut up’, ‘you’re a failure’… seven words you should never say to your partner

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In every relationship no matter how beautiful, there’s bound to be conflicts of interest between the two parties involved.

With conflicting interests, arguments occur. But arguments and misunderstandings can be properly managed with the right amount of civility and objectivity from both parties involved.

To handle conflict maturely, certain words and phrases must be avoided. This is because words are powerful; leaving a lasting impression on the subconscious of our loved ones. It is important therefore, to remain calm during arguments or during a misunderstanding and carefully select the words we use.

For longer lasting relationships, avoid using these seven phrases with your partner;

Shut Up

The phrase, ‘shut up’ tends to fly around easily during arguments. Usually, in the heat of the moment, blurting out this hurtful phrase is an attempt at imposing an end to the discussion on your partner.

Asides being hurtful, ‘shutting your partner up’ is highly disrespectful as it implies you have little regard for their opinion and what they have to say at that moment.

Should you feel reluctant to engage in an argument or discussion with your partner, simply suggest to them politely that you’d rather have that conversation on a later time.

I Wish I Never Dated You

Saying these words or ‘i wish i never married you’ to your partner begets serious repercussions even when said ‘harmlessly’.

Similarly, blurting out comparisons between your partner and your ex for instance, is completely foul and disrespectful. Never for instance, say things, “I wish you could be more like [insert ex’s name]”.

You’re a Failure

Nobody deserves to be humiliated because they do not meet your expectations for them least of all, your lover. If you feel your partner is a failure, you probably have no business dating them in the first place.

Of course, this doesn’t mean it’s inappropriate to encourage your beau/belle to do better. In fact, being a force of raw and uncut honesty and support system for your partner whenever they flop is a blessing. But in doing so, being sympathetic, patient, and loving is sure to drive your partner into doing better.

You’re an Idiot

Along with every other curse word or phrase is a huge no, no. Should you feel frustrated, or hurt by your partner, convey your feelings to them respectfully.

You’re Too Fat/Skinny

As ‘helpful’ as you may feel uttering this to your partner, this is pure suicide. Bodyshaming isn’t restricted to harsh or over-dramatic comments alone. Telling your partner they are too fat or thin is a sure ticket to letting them know you do not appreciate them just the way they are.

Truly depressing

If for medical reasons, you’re concerned about your partner’s weight, book them an appointment with a medical specialist and support them the best way you can.

I’m Leaving You

In whatever form aid, this phrase should be avoided unless actually meant.

Avoid threatening or emotionally blackmailing your partner with threats of divorce or break up. It’s not only a sad attempt at getting their attention, but also a seed that when germinated, could actually lead to an actual separation.

I’m Sorry But

Uttering this phrase to your partner, negates your apology. By including ‘but’ in an apology, you’re indirectly half-assing an apology to your partner.

This means that despite your wrongdoings towards them, your actions are justifiable. Not a great move if you plan on making your relationship work.

Sure these are not the only words to avoid saying to your partner as there are a number of similarly abominable words and phrases.

In learning how to accurately communicate with your beau/belle, insist on treating them first with respect, decency, and love no matter the situation.

Relationships

Seven ways to show your single self love on Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day is often associated with grand romantic gestures, but who says love should only be shared between romantic partners?

If you are single, this day can be just as special. It offers an opportunity to celebrate the most important relationship of all: the one with yourself.

So, instead of feeling left out, embrace the day as a chance to prioritise self-care, self-love and indulge in things that make you happy.

Without further ado, here are meaningful ways to practice self-love this Valentine’s Day.

  • Start the day with positivity and gratitude

You know how you begin your day can set the tone for the rest of it, right?

Instead of dwelling on what you do not have, take a moment to appreciate what you do. Think about the things that bring you joy—your growth, your friendships, your little wins.

Write down a few things you admire about yourself or moments and achievements you are proud of.

You could also write in a journal, meditate, or simply say affirmations. These will help you remember that love is not limited to romantic relationships; it includes the love you have for yourself, too.

  • Create a pampering self-care routine

Treat yourself to a luxurious and memorable day. Since it is the weekend, why not plan a self-care routine that nourishes both your body and mind?

You can keep it simple and budget-friendly with activities like running a warm bath, putting on a face mask, getting a massage, or just curling up with a good book or movie. It does not have to be anything fancy, the goal is to make yourself feel good.

A little pampering can go a long way in making you feel refreshed and appreciated—by you! You do not have to wait for anyone to spoil you; you can do that for yourself.

  • Treat yourself to your favourite meals

Food is one of life’s simplest pleasures, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to indulge.

Cook yourself a delicious homemade meal, order from your favourite restaurant or simply try something. That longtime craving, satisfy it.

Whether it is a fancy dish or comfort food, let yourself enjoy every bite without guilt.

  • Do what you love

With the hustle and bustle of daily life, it is easy to get caught up in work and responsibilities.

But today, take a step back and focus on what truly makes you happy.

Whether it is, as long as it is healthy and brings you joy, go for it.

Doing what you love not only lifts your mood but also reminds you that your happiness is not tied to anyone else—you can enjoy your own company.

  • Treat yourself to a gift

If your love language is gifting, why not be your own valentine?

You do not have to wait for someone else to spoil you. Treat yourself to something special — big or small, it does not matter.

It could be a piece of jewelry you have always wanted, a new outfit, skincare products, or even a simple bouquet of flowers.

The joy of gifting is not just about receiving from others; it is also about showing yourself love and appreciation. So, go ahead and indulge—you deserve it!

  • Engage in outdoor activities

Just because you are single does not mean you have to spend the day indoors.

If you love being out and about, take yourself on a solo date—go for a nice dinner, catch a movie, or simply take a relaxing stroll.

You could also explore a new spot in your city, visit an art gallery, or try an activity you have always wanted to do.

Enjoy your own company and make the day about celebrating yourself.

  • Celebrate yourself

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to appreciate the independent, self-sufficient person you have become.

Take a moment to reflect on your growth, the challenges you have conquered, and the journey ahead.

Write yourself a heartfelt note, acknowledge your wins and raise a toast to your resilience.

You do not need anyone else’s validation to celebrate yourself. You are enough.

Remember, self-love is about recognising your worth and treating yourself with the same kindness and appreciation you’d give to someone special. And it should not stop after Valentine’s Day.

Make it a habit to prioritise yourself and show yourself love every day. After all, you are yourself’s first love—so embrace it, express it, and never stop choosing you. You deserve it, okay?

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Relationships

Juma Jux narrates how he met Priscilla Ojo

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Juma Jux, the Tanzanian singer, has revealed how he met Priscilla Ojo, his wife and daughter of Nollywood actress Iyabo Ojo.

The couple held their Islamic traditional wedding ceremony in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania last Friday.

During a surprise second engagement party held in Tanzania on Wednesday, Jux revealed that they met at an airport in Rwanda.

He said she had laughed at him after he missed his flight and could not get a business class seat on the next flight.

He disclosed that he liked her from the first day but she played hard to get and would not text even when she collected his number.

The ‘Ololufe’ singer added that as they met subsequently, he realised that she was the woman he had been “waiting for”.

“The first day I saw Priscilla in Rwanda, I missed my flight and could not get a business-class seat because it was complete. I was pissed off, and after passing through the business class section, I saw her laughing at me,” he said.

“I told my team I would not talk to any of these ladies again, and later, we went to stay at the same hotel. She was not feeling well that day, while Chioma Ikokwu was charming and making friends with many people.

“I started a conversation with her friend, and from there, I gained confidence. We began talking. I liked her from the first day I saw her at the airport. There was something about her I couldn’t explain, but I knew my heart was drawn to her.

“She took my number, and I told her to text me, but she did not. When we met again, I texted her, but she did not reply. In East Africa, I have fans, and people recognise me, but when she was around, it was just the two of us.

“I did not care about anything else because I was on a mission. I had always been mindful of my brand, but none mattered with her. As we continued meeting, I realised she was the woman I had been waiting for. God brought everything together in His perfect timing.”

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Relationships

Six romantic date ideas to try today — beyond dinner

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It is that time of the year again — Valentine’s Day, a celebration of love and romance! While a classic dinner date is a popular choice, why stick to the usual when you can make the day even more special?

This year, break away from routine and explore new, exciting ways to celebrate with your partner.

Whether you are in the mood for adventure, relaxation, or a touch of creativity, these unique date ideas will help you create unforgettable memories and make your Valentine’s truly special.

Beach picnic date
Nigeria has some of the most beautiful beaches, making them the perfect setting for a romantic Valentine’s Day.

So, skip the usual restaurant date and have a romantic picnic at a beach like Elegushi, Tarkwa Bay, or Oniru.

For a budget-friendly yet memorable experience, pack a picnic basket filled with homemade meals, snacks, and refreshing drinks. However, some beaches have restrictions on bringing in outside food, so be sure to confirm the rules beforehand.

You could also bring along your favorite games, a Bluetooth speaker for soft music, and a comfortable mat to lounge on. Enjoy deep conversations, playful moments, and breathtaking sunsets with your partner as the sound of the waves sets the mood.

  • Paint and sip date

If you and your partner are artistic, a paint and sip date is a fun and romantic way to celebrate the day.

Rather than the regular dinner, spend the day exploring your creativity while sipping your favourite drinks. Several studios and lounges now offer paint and sip experiences, providing all the necessary materials, from canvases to brushes and paints.

For a more intimate experience, you can recreate this date at home. Set up a cozy painting station, grab some wine or juice, and follow an online tutorial together. It’s not about creating a masterpiece but about sharing laughter, bonding, and making lasting memories.

  • Arcade date

Relive your childhood fun by trying out different games in an arcade.

The arcade offer several games, from car racing and basketball hoops to dance machines and VR experiences. The thrill of competing and cheering each other on is a good memory to have.

You can also set friendly wagers — whoever loses buys dessert!

  • Staycation date

With Valentine’s Day falling on a Friday, it’s the perfect excuse to turn a romantic date into a weekend-long getaway without leaving your city or spending too much.

A staycation allows you and your partner to escape the usual routine, relax, reconnect and create new memories in a new environment without the hassle of long-distance travel.

  • Spa and wellness date

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to relax and unwind with your partner, and a spa and wellness date offers just that.

Instead of the usual dinner outing, treat yourselves to couples’ spa experience, where you can enjoy variety of sessions including massages, facials, in a calm and intimate setting.

For a budget-friendly option, you can create a Do It Yourselves (DIY) spa night at home with scented candles, essential oils, and relaxing music.

Run a warm bath, give each other massages, and enjoy your favourite drinks.

  • Museum date

You can as well explore Nigeria’s history and art by visiting cultural centres and museum for a mix of adventure and culture.

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Bodex F. Hungbo, SPMIIM is a multiple award-winning Nigerian Digital Media Practitioner, Digital Strategist, PR consultant, Brand and Event Expert, Tv Presenter, Tier-A Blogger/Influencer, and a top cobbler in Nigeria.

She has widespread experiences across different professions and skills, which includes experiences in; Marketing, Media, Broadcasting, Brand and Event Management, Administration and Management with prior stints at MTN, NAPIMS-NNPC, GLOBAL FLEET OIL AND GAS, LTV, Silverbird and a host of others

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