Relationships
Six mistakes to avoid on a first date
Meeting your love interest for the first time can be exciting and nerve-wracking. First dates often come with a rush of emotions and frequent questions about what to wear, what to say, and how to act.
Despite the uncertainties and anxiety that accompany first dates, it is important to make a good impression and ensure a smooth experience to avoid sabotaging the chance of a meaningful relationship.
Given this, here are mistakes you should steer clear of to ensure a smooth and enjoyable date experience.
- Being late
Showing up late to a date can create a bad first impression. It can even give off the impression that you do not value or respect your date and his/her time.
To avoid being late, plan your journey and aim to arrive a few minutes early to demonstrate punctuality and consideration.
In case of unexpected delays, communicate with your date. Let him/her know why you will be running late and do not forget to apologise.
- Dressing inappropriately
You should dress the way you want to be addressed by your date.
Do you know your appearance can speak volumes about your personality, confidence, style, and preferences? So dress and appear in a way that will give a long-lasting positive impression.
Dress appropriately and comfortably without going overboard or overdressing for the event.
- Constantly checking your phone
Why are you at the date in the first place when you know you will be on your phone throughout?
It is important to put your phone away during a date so you won’t make your date feel unimportant and ignored.
So put away your phone, pay attention, listen, and engage in conversation. Make yourself fully present and interested during conversations.
The only reason you should be on your phone constantly is when you are expecting an important call or message. And your date must have been aware of this beforehand.
- Talking too much
Yes, you should be active in the conversation but moderation is key. Do not overdo it.
Some people tend to talk more when nervous which is understandable. However, remember that a date is a conversation, and it should be balanced: your date talks, and you talk.
Try not to dominate the conservation. Talking too much about yourself is a major turn-off on a first date.
The essence of a date is for both people to get to know each other so practice active listening.
Ask open-ended questions to encourage your date to share about themselves and aim for a balanced conversation.
Also, avoid bringing up politics or religious subjects. These subjects can be controversial and create tension or disagreement.
- Talking about your ex
Understandably, you want something serious and you want to do a little preliminary digging.
There is no harm in asking but let it come up organically. Also, do not dwell on it for too long.
Give your date time to open up about his/her past relationship. Do not force it, not even on the first date.
Try not to also bring in your past relationships except when you are asked. This can make your date uncomfortable and give the impression that you are not over your exes.
Rather, keep the conversation light and focused on getting to know each other.
Save more personal topics for later dates when a deeper connection has been established.
- Trying to get physically intimate too soon
Pushing for physical intimacy too early can create discomfort and send the wrong message.
First dates are meant to establish a connection and understand compatibility, not to rush into physical relations.
So, respect personal boundaries and focus on building emotional and intellectual connections first.
If the relationship works out, there is plenty of time to explore physical intimacy.
But on a first date, do not try to establish physical intimacy to avoid coming off as creepy or desperate.
Remember, be yourself throughout the conversation and let the relationship develop naturally. Don’t force it.
Relationships
Olajumoke Onibread narrates how ex-husband assaulted and ruined her career
Olajumoke Orisaguna, the Nigerian model famously known as Olajumoke Onibread, has recounted her harrowing experience with domestic abuse.
Olajumoke rose to fame in 2016 after accidentally walking into a photo shoot with British rapper Tinie Tempah, captured by TY Bello. However, she disappeared from the public eye, leaving many wondering about her whereabouts.
In a recent interview with City FM, Olajumoke alleged that she endured a toxic relationship with her ex-husband Sunday Orisaguna.
She said they lived in Ire, Osun state before she relocated to Lagos. The model described the environment at their Ire home as “hostile”, citing her mother-in-law’s “mistreatment” and Sunday’s “physical abuse”.
She said after relocating to Lagos, she started hawking bread before crossing paths with TY Bello. She said Sunday, however, joined her in Lagos, and the alleged abuse continued.
Olajumoke said she felt ashamed to deny claims of marriage due to their two children. She claimed that her career suffered after their separation, alleging that Sunday maligned her reputation and that of her supporters.
“The time we were in Ire, we stayed in my husband’s family house and there is no way you stay in that kind of place that you would not encounter problems. My mother-in-law was very hostile towards me and I would have to close my hairdressing shop on time just so I could go make dinner at home,” she said.
“And it was whatever she told her son is what he listens to. He would not even listen to my own side of the story before he started beating me up. Whenever me and his mother had misunderstandings, he would not even listen to me before hitting me. He would beat me to the extent that my face and body would be swollen. Sometimes he would even make use of a belt. That was when we were in Ire, Osun state.
“I would hide what was happening because I did not want my mom to hear. She also lived within the same vicinity as us. Before when I go and report to her, she’ll say she did not give me out in marriage to anyone. Even my mum’s younger sister was against me marrying him, as she had lived longer in Ire than me, so she knew what she was saying. But when the pregnancy issue happened, there was nothing anyone could do.
“So my mum will tell me she did not bless any marriage and she cannot also ask me to leave there, so she did not involve herself in the issue. When he beat me, I would not be able to wear short-sleeved clothes, but long-sleeved dresses. I did not tell anyone, only those who lived with us in the house knew about it. Fast forward to January 2016 when I wanted to move to Lagos, we were frying akara for his dad’s remembrance when I had an issue with his elder sister.
“As usual, he beat me up and I decided that I was going to leave, move to Lagos, and start working at the bakery because I had been there before. The third day after that incident, I packed my load and brought my two children with me to Lagos because I could not leave them there. Getting to the bakery, I had to explain to my friend what happened and she was happy that I had finally left because she was part of the people that warned me about him.
“What I am saying now, I have never said it out before. Even when I met TY Bello and I told her that I had a husband, my friend was furious when she found out. She was like I do not have sense, why would I say someone who beats me is my husband? I had to explain that I had to say that because I have children. That was how he came to Lagos. Even in the house that was rented for me in Surulere, he would still beat me up.
“I did not even tell TY Bello what was going on. I could not even admit that we were not married. I am a very gentle person so I did not tell anyone what was going on, I was enduring all of it. Sometimes when he goes out to drink, because he is someone to have a good time, when he gets back and a minor misunderstanding happens, he would start beating me again. It is almost four years since we separated.
“While he was beating me, he did not have a job. I was the one who would go out to hustle for us because I did not want my children to suffer. He would just stay at home and sleep or go out to drink. I did not even disturb him from doing these things, I just wanted him to stop beating me. Then he also started monitoring me when I went to work. If I go for photoshoots, sometimes I come back very late. He would accuse me of sleeping around with other men.
“So I decided to finally leave him. It got so bad that he would even start insulting my parents. It was when I separated from him, that was when everything started going down the drain because he started spoiling my name. All those who had helped me then, he started saying bad things against them. Since then, things started going down.”
Olajumoke has returned to the spotlight as a radio presenter with her talk show ‘Kilon Shele’.
She disclosed that her radio show will focus on her personal story, including her experiences with exploitative managers who took advantage of her lack of education.
Relationships
Fans confused as Chike poses with mystery woman
Chike, the Nigerian singer and songwriter, has sparked romance rumours after sharing an intimate photo with a mystery woman on Instagram.
The ‘Boo of the Booless’ hitmaker posted the picture on Wednesday, showcasing the pair in traditional Igbo and Yoruba attire.
He captioned the photo: “When I wake in the morning, I thank God for you”.
However, it remains unclear whether the photo is a glimpse into Chike’s personal life or a promotional shot for an upcoming music video.
Comments like “Happy married life o,” “my man pls don’t break my heart oo,” and “omo see as my heart cut babe stop naw” flooded the singer’s page.
The development comes as a surprise, considering Chike’s previous admission that he has never told a woman “I love you”.
In a 2022 interview, the 31-year-old singer revealed that saying “I love you” makes him feel vulnerable.
Relationships
Meagan Good, Jonathan Majors are engaged
The Hollywood stars Meagan Good and Jonathan Majors are engaged.
The couple announced their engagement on Sunday at the 2024 Ebony Power 100 List event held at Nya Studios in Los Angeles.
Meagan showed off her engagement ring while the lovebirds posed for loved-up photos on the red carpet.
They also revealed why they chose the particular event to go public with their engagement.
“Ebony Power 100 is the event that we met at in the bathrooms, in the unisex bathroom,” Meagan said.
Good was married to DeVon Franklin, the US pastor and producer, from 2012 to 2021. She and Majors were first linked romantically in May 2023.
Earlier this year, Good opened up about how friends advised her about the scrutiny she could face by being with him. She also discussed how she has stood by him through his challenges.
Majors was found guilty of assault in the third degree and harassment in December 2023, following a March 2023 arrest in New York.
He was arrested after allegedly assaulting Grace Jabbari, his ex-girlfriend.
In April 2024, Majors was sentenced to one year of domestic violence counseling, which includes a 52-week, in-person program in Los Angeles. He was also required to continue mental health therapy and provide regular updates on his progress.
Also, the court issued a permanent protective order between Majors and Jabbari, with potential jail time for any violations of his sentencing terms.
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