Relationships
10 things to consider before marriage
Getting married is a big life decision that needs to be well thought out and planned. While romance and love are important, they’re not the only things to take into account while forming a lasting relationship. It’s important to assess the basis of your relationship and make sure you’re both on the same page before making the move.
In this article, we’ll explore the top 10 things to consider before getting married. By thoughtfully evaluating these key aspects, you can set yourself up for a strong, happy, and fulfilling marriage that will last a lifetime.
Compatibility: For any marriage to succeed, compatibility is essential. Examining their compatibility before marriage is necessary for couples Compatibility encompasses values, interests, beliefs, hobbies, and goals compatibility. Emotional compatibility is also important between intending couples. Conflict may arise, for instance, if one partner is more laid back and indifferent to honesty and integrity, while the other does.
Communication: Effective Communication is an essential ingredient for a happy marriage. Communication helps people to understand each other and reduce the number of conflicts they might have. So the question is “Can you communicate effectively, honestly, and respectfully with each other?”
Biological compatibility: Intending couples need to consider pre-marital tests and screenings for Sexually transmitted diseases, genotype compatibility, Rhesus compatibility and fitness of the reproductive organs. It is important to undergo these tests and ensure compatibility before marriage.
Financial stability: Discussions about Money matters should be prioritised by intending couples. You both need to outline your savings and financial goals, any incurred debt, any plans for investment, and the plan you have for managing your finances together. Would you be having a joint account, personal account, or both?
Family and friends: You need to consider each other’s families and how involved they would be in your married life. How will your marriage affect your relationships with family and friends? Would there be a significant change due to religious differences, values differences, or other differences? You also need to understand the family background of your intended spouse and how it has helped form them into what they are.
Children: it is essential for intending couples to discuss the number of children they envision having together or if they don’t want to have children. They also need to discuss on how they intend to raise the children together and their future plans because having children is a huge responsibility to handle and needs adequate preparation.
Personal growth: Will your marriage allow for personal growth, independence, and individuality? Marriage is a process of growth and progress on a personal level. Partners must make a commitment to each other’s personal growth and development. This entails helping one another realise their goals and aspirations. For instance, both partners must consent if they wish to go back to school to finish their degree.
Conflict resolution: Conflict resolution is all about repairing situations. People resolve problems in different ways however how will you and your partner resolve conflicts and disagreements in a healthy and constructive way? There would be disagreement between partners but couples need to handle them in the most effective and amicable way.
Commitment: Marriage involves being committed to someone for life. You and your partner need to be ready for it. You both need to be fully committed to the marriage and willing to work through challenges together. Trust and commitment work both ways and it’s needed in every relationship. The question of ‘how well you trust your partner’ needs to be answered.
Realistic expectations: Do you have realistic expectations about marriage and each other, and are you prepared for the ups and downs of life together? Couples need to have the same goals and aspirations for their future together. This comprises objectives such as career, family, and personal development.
Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it requires effort, understanding, and compromise from both partners. Considering these factors can help you build a strong foundation for a happy and fulfilling marriage.
Relationships
Olajumoke Onibread narrates how ex-husband assaulted and ruined her career
Olajumoke Orisaguna, the Nigerian model famously known as Olajumoke Onibread, has recounted her harrowing experience with domestic abuse.
Olajumoke rose to fame in 2016 after accidentally walking into a photo shoot with British rapper Tinie Tempah, captured by TY Bello. However, she disappeared from the public eye, leaving many wondering about her whereabouts.
In a recent interview with City FM, Olajumoke alleged that she endured a toxic relationship with her ex-husband Sunday Orisaguna.
She said they lived in Ire, Osun state before she relocated to Lagos. The model described the environment at their Ire home as “hostile”, citing her mother-in-law’s “mistreatment” and Sunday’s “physical abuse”.
She said after relocating to Lagos, she started hawking bread before crossing paths with TY Bello. She said Sunday, however, joined her in Lagos, and the alleged abuse continued.
Olajumoke said she felt ashamed to deny claims of marriage due to their two children. She claimed that her career suffered after their separation, alleging that Sunday maligned her reputation and that of her supporters.
“The time we were in Ire, we stayed in my husband’s family house and there is no way you stay in that kind of place that you would not encounter problems. My mother-in-law was very hostile towards me and I would have to close my hairdressing shop on time just so I could go make dinner at home,” she said.
“And it was whatever she told her son is what he listens to. He would not even listen to my own side of the story before he started beating me up. Whenever me and his mother had misunderstandings, he would not even listen to me before hitting me. He would beat me to the extent that my face and body would be swollen. Sometimes he would even make use of a belt. That was when we were in Ire, Osun state.
“I would hide what was happening because I did not want my mom to hear. She also lived within the same vicinity as us. Before when I go and report to her, she’ll say she did not give me out in marriage to anyone. Even my mum’s younger sister was against me marrying him, as she had lived longer in Ire than me, so she knew what she was saying. But when the pregnancy issue happened, there was nothing anyone could do.
“So my mum will tell me she did not bless any marriage and she cannot also ask me to leave there, so she did not involve herself in the issue. When he beat me, I would not be able to wear short-sleeved clothes, but long-sleeved dresses. I did not tell anyone, only those who lived with us in the house knew about it. Fast forward to January 2016 when I wanted to move to Lagos, we were frying akara for his dad’s remembrance when I had an issue with his elder sister.
“As usual, he beat me up and I decided that I was going to leave, move to Lagos, and start working at the bakery because I had been there before. The third day after that incident, I packed my load and brought my two children with me to Lagos because I could not leave them there. Getting to the bakery, I had to explain to my friend what happened and she was happy that I had finally left because she was part of the people that warned me about him.
“What I am saying now, I have never said it out before. Even when I met TY Bello and I told her that I had a husband, my friend was furious when she found out. She was like I do not have sense, why would I say someone who beats me is my husband? I had to explain that I had to say that because I have children. That was how he came to Lagos. Even in the house that was rented for me in Surulere, he would still beat me up.
“I did not even tell TY Bello what was going on. I could not even admit that we were not married. I am a very gentle person so I did not tell anyone what was going on, I was enduring all of it. Sometimes when he goes out to drink, because he is someone to have a good time, when he gets back and a minor misunderstanding happens, he would start beating me again. It is almost four years since we separated.
“While he was beating me, he did not have a job. I was the one who would go out to hustle for us because I did not want my children to suffer. He would just stay at home and sleep or go out to drink. I did not even disturb him from doing these things, I just wanted him to stop beating me. Then he also started monitoring me when I went to work. If I go for photoshoots, sometimes I come back very late. He would accuse me of sleeping around with other men.
“So I decided to finally leave him. It got so bad that he would even start insulting my parents. It was when I separated from him, that was when everything started going down the drain because he started spoiling my name. All those who had helped me then, he started saying bad things against them. Since then, things started going down.”
Olajumoke has returned to the spotlight as a radio presenter with her talk show ‘Kilon Shele’.
She disclosed that her radio show will focus on her personal story, including her experiences with exploitative managers who took advantage of her lack of education.
Relationships
Fans confused as Chike poses with mystery woman
Chike, the Nigerian singer and songwriter, has sparked romance rumours after sharing an intimate photo with a mystery woman on Instagram.
The ‘Boo of the Booless’ hitmaker posted the picture on Wednesday, showcasing the pair in traditional Igbo and Yoruba attire.
He captioned the photo: “When I wake in the morning, I thank God for you”.
However, it remains unclear whether the photo is a glimpse into Chike’s personal life or a promotional shot for an upcoming music video.
Comments like “Happy married life o,” “my man pls don’t break my heart oo,” and “omo see as my heart cut babe stop naw” flooded the singer’s page.
The development comes as a surprise, considering Chike’s previous admission that he has never told a woman “I love you”.
In a 2022 interview, the 31-year-old singer revealed that saying “I love you” makes him feel vulnerable.
Relationships
Meagan Good, Jonathan Majors are engaged
The Hollywood stars Meagan Good and Jonathan Majors are engaged.
The couple announced their engagement on Sunday at the 2024 Ebony Power 100 List event held at Nya Studios in Los Angeles.
Meagan showed off her engagement ring while the lovebirds posed for loved-up photos on the red carpet.
They also revealed why they chose the particular event to go public with their engagement.
“Ebony Power 100 is the event that we met at in the bathrooms, in the unisex bathroom,” Meagan said.
Good was married to DeVon Franklin, the US pastor and producer, from 2012 to 2021. She and Majors were first linked romantically in May 2023.
Earlier this year, Good opened up about how friends advised her about the scrutiny she could face by being with him. She also discussed how she has stood by him through his challenges.
Majors was found guilty of assault in the third degree and harassment in December 2023, following a March 2023 arrest in New York.
He was arrested after allegedly assaulting Grace Jabbari, his ex-girlfriend.
In April 2024, Majors was sentenced to one year of domestic violence counseling, which includes a 52-week, in-person program in Los Angeles. He was also required to continue mental health therapy and provide regular updates on his progress.
Also, the court issued a permanent protective order between Majors and Jabbari, with potential jail time for any violations of his sentencing terms.
-
Politics1 week ago
Okpebholo fires permanent secretaries, dissolves boards
-
Politics6 days ago
DSS operatives arrest man with bags of cash during Ondo guber
-
Business4 days ago
Lagos state government to commence upgrade of major junctions in Ikeja axis, seeks residents’ cooperation
-
News6 days ago
Nnamdi Emeh: Suspect Facing Charges In Court, Process Independent Of Police Influence
-
Celebrities6 days ago
Daddy Freeze, Akah Nnani clash over Emmanuel Iren
-
News6 days ago
Alice Loksha, abducted UNICEF nurse, escapes captivity after 6 years
-
World1 week ago
French newspapers sue X for using content without paying
-
Health6 days ago
Five ways to rid your home of ants