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8 smart ways to make him last longer in bed

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Arriving early on a date is a promising, positive sign that most would appreciate in a partner. But when that date is happening in the bedroom at sex o’clock, that’s the last thing you want. Whether he finishes quickly on occasion (after, say, a long week apart) or does so Every. Single. Time, you’re not a bad person for wanting to help him last longer in bed.

To be fair, the average duration of penetrative sex is estimated to be in the range of three to six minutes, says Jessica OReilly, PhD, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast . So, if your partner is in that range, they technically have a normal capacity for P-in-the-V sex. Still, if you (or both of you) aren’t walking away satisfied, that’s a problem. Luckily, it’s one that can be addressed.

Since you probably want to take care of this problem, like, now, I won’t hold you up any longer. Here’s exactly what you can do to help your guy last longer in bed, so you can both reach the finish line.

Before having sex, make masturbation part of your foreplay. “Tell him you want him to watch you touch yourself, he will love it,” says Emily Morse, PhD, host of the podcast Sex With Emily. Plus, it will help you get a head start and close the orgasm gap so that you’re both on the same page once you’re having sex.

Cock rings go around the base of his penis, usually around the shaft, testicles, or both, OReilly says. They add pressure to the base of his penis, restricting blood flow. That can then delay his orgasm, helping him to last longer.

Not to mention, sex toys are always a good idea.

Have your guy pull out when things start to get intense for him, then squeeze the head of his penis, suggests sex therapist Debra Laino , who has a doctorate in human sexuality.

You don’t have to do it really hard, but just before he feels like hes going to come, take a paus, and firmly put pressure on the shaft of his penis with your thumb and forefinger. The squeezing can help delay ejaculation, so you two can keep at it longer.

I know, I know: No one wants to use a condom, especially when you don’t need to worry about STIs or unwanted pregnancy with a monogamous partner. But actually, in this case, you might: Condoms create an extra layer of separation between his penis and your vagina, so the fleshy sensation of penetration isn’t quite as intense. This can delay his orgasm just long enough to help you get yoursand you can always have him pull out and remove it at the last second before climax, if you both so wish.

Speaking of ditching condoms…does the pull-out method work?

Most guys know when they’re about to orgasm (dear g-d, I hope so), so have yours switch positions when he feels like hes getting close, OReilly says.

You might even be able to tell whats up and take charge: You can usually feel your partners testicles tightening and lifting more significantly as he approaches orgasm, she says. When a man has an orgasm, he has two sets of contractions with each contraction an average of 0.8 seconds apart from the other, OReilly says. Moving at this pace, or faster, and with a predictable rhythm can cause him to orgasm, so slowing down or changing up the rhythm can potentially delay his release.

You might have to experiment here to see what works best for your guy. (Morse suggests trying moves like girl on top , which will help you control the pace.) Change things up a bit and talk about what he likes to reach a happy medium.

No one says you have to go hard and fast the whole time, so put little stops and starts into the mix, Laino says. While having sex, have the man pull out and kiss a bit, essentially calming down the excitement, she says. This actually brings a much longer experience, which breeds deeper intimacy.

Fun fact: These aren’t just for you! Men can do pelvic-floor work, too, and it can make a big difference in the bedroom. One Swedish study published in 2014 found that men who did a few months of pelvic-floor exercises were able to improve their ability to control premature ejaculation. (To be clear, each of the men in the study suffered from lifelong PE issues.)

Whether or not your guy deals with that, encourage him to do some daily exercises while hes sitting at his desk at work. (He basically just has to squeeze the muscles between his tailbone and genitals.) It could make a big difference, OReilly says. If nothing else, it can’t hurt.

Just because he finishes doesn’t mean you have to, points out Rachel Needle , PsyD, a sex therapist and licensed psychologist at the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida. Laino agrees. Sex doesn’t have to stop at an orgasm, she says. If the afterplay keeps going, it is likely he will get another erection and last a little bit longer the second or third time.

As for you? It’s totally possible to score multiple orgasms in a single seshnow that you’ve gotten him to last longer, might as well make that your next project…

Relationships

Lawyer’s absence stalls hearing of Yul Edochie, May’s divorce case

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Yul Edochie, the Nollywood actor, and May, his estranged wife, have experienced another setback in their divorce case.

Edochie has been in the news for controversial reasons since he unveiled Judy Austin as his second wife in April 2022.

He also announced their first child together — to the displeasure of May, his first wife.

In August 2023, May filed for divorce from Yul and demanded N100 million in damages from Judy “for adultery with her husband”.

The case was initially delayed at the high court in Abuja in March. DPA Family Clinic, May’s legal representatives, also claimed that Yul had denied getting married to Judy.

But in a recent statement via Facebook, May’s lawyers said the case, scheduled for Tuesday, was adjourned again because Yul’s lawyer was absent due to health issues.

“Trial could not go ahead today as scheduled because two days ago, He proposed several dates in the future as an alternative and requested the court to pardon him,” the statement reads.

“Usually, the court would give the lawyer the benefit of the doubt in such a situation. May’s lawyers would not like to question the integrity of the opponent directly, even though the excuse was a tendentious occurrence.

“Today in court Mr Yul Edochie was present but without his counsel. The court could not hear any substantive matter. A new date had been set in June. We are all concerned about delays and protection of this case.

“But we remain confident that justice will be done in due course by this court. As you know, several issues are involved: from the activities of the parties in social media to the welfare of the children, to the issues of marital properties, the safety of May, and the final status of the marriage itself.”

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Relationships

Here are 4 reasons men and women communicate differently — these can cause problems

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It seems that we already know everything about ourselves: how women and men think and speak.

But why then are there still so many misunderstandings, grudges and quarrels in our relationships? Or maybe we know but we don’t apply it?

While men focus more on action, women experience everything more emotionally. Some even say that women “think with their hearts.”

How are these two different worlds supposed to communicate now?

A woman should remember that if she does not tell her husband directly about her needs, emotions or expectations, he will not guess them himself. What would be obvious to another woman will not be obvious to your husband. It’s a waste of time.

The common belief that if he really loves me, it means that he knows me well and therefore should know what my desires or fears are, or what I feel at a given moment, is not true. Unfortunately, we have to tell him this.

You can even take on the noble task of teaching your husband about your emotions. But it takes time, patience and pedagogical skills. Otherwise, grievances and complaints arise, and the already tense relationship becomes even more difficult.

Let’s assume that our husband simply doesn’t understand our messages, and not that he has bad intentions and does – or doesn’t do – something on purpose. Besides, assuming good intentions of the other party in every relationship helps.

2. A woman wants to be heard

In turn, a woman has a need to talk about her feelings (emotive function of communication). Then she expects the man to listen calmly, empathise and show compassion.

This is a difficult art for male nature, but everything can be learned. If the husband does not satisfy this need, the wife will find, for example, a friend or another man – a confidant, and then this may mean the beginning of the end of the relationship.

A wife has the right to expect her husband to be interested and concerned about her affairs, as is the husband in his affairs. It is important for your husband to really learn to listen and not just pretend to listen.

When talking about their affairs, women devote a lot of space to feelings, and men focus mainly on facts (the information function of communication dominates). A woman needs understanding, support, taking care of her feelings, and not at all explaining that her behaviour is not logical, asking about the reasons for crying and proposing a solution – how to best deal with a given problem (and the proposal will be from a man’s point of view anyway, which cannot necessarily be used by a woman at all).

Then the husband cannot be surprised when his wife accuses him of “You don’t understand anything!”

Women, from their point of view, sometimes feel unreconciled with the fact that their husband does not tell everything. They suffer because of this, sometimes they even think that their husband has something to hide, they look for reasons that do not exist and torment themselves about it.

And a man simply does not have as much of a need to “extend himself” as a wife. There is no need to talk about everything and share everything with your wife. Especially when he has problems, he prefers to deal with them himself and wants to spare his wife unnecessary stress. But the wife may interpret such behavioUr incorrectly.

We seem to know all this, but what if we always remember it?

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Relationships

US actors Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez face new marital challenge

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American filmmaker Ben Affleck and his wife, actress Jennifer Lopez are facing a new challenge in their marital life as their ‘honeymoon’ phase is over.

According to Life & Style magazine, the celebrity couple has been dealing with long-distance issues as they are living separately due to their work commitments.

The report revealed that Affleck has been busy filming ‘The Accountant’ sequel in Los Angeles, whereas, the ‘Ain’t Your Mama’ singer is working on her projects in New York City.

A source said, “This is the first long stretch they’ve spent apart in a while. And they’re both dealing with it in different ways.”

In another report, an insider claimed that Jennifer Lopez has not been able to cope with navigating her life without Affleck.

The source shared that the actress and singer “wants constant affirmation from her husband that she’s loved and adored.”

However, Lopez is “not getting much of that now and Ben gets defensive and moody.”

“The honeymoon is definitely over. The feeling is if they want to stay married, they both need to make some adjustments in their behaviour,” an insider stated.

Jennifer Lopez and Affleck got engaged in the early 2000’s before calling it quits a few years later.

They got back in 2021, and married a year later, and both have been showing commitment to their marital vows.

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Bodex F. Hungbo, SPMIIM is a multiple award-winning Nigerian Digital Media Practitioner, Digital Strategist, PR consultant, Brand and Event Expert, Tv Presenter, Tier-A Blogger/Influencer, and a top cobbler in Nigeria.

She has widespread experiences across different professions and skills, which includes experiences in; Marketing, Media, Broadcasting, Brand and Event Management, Administration and Management with prior stints at MTN, NAPIMS-NNPC, GLOBAL FLEET OIL AND GAS, LTV, Silverbird and a host of others

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