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Four ways to avoid being friend-zoned by a guy

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If you’re reading through this intently, there’s a big chance you’re currently been friend-zoned by a guy you’d preferably date.

Friend-zone occurs when there is a miscommunication of emotions and intentions between two people in a relationship. This usually results in a mismatch in romantic feelings where one person wants a romantic commitment with the other, while the other only wants simple platonic friendship.

If you’ve ever been stuck in the friend-zone, you’ll admit it sucks. Having to conceal your intense emotions, or worse, have them dashed when your romantic interest blurts out they “only want to be friends”, is a painful experience.

The best advice is to avoid being stuck in the friend-zone. Although, being friend-zoned isn’t the end of the world, sister.

Some of the guaranteed ways to leave this humiliating friendship “zone”, include:

Find a guy who’s your match

Recall that friend zone is simply a mismatch of emotions. It only makes sense to go for a guy who is a good match for you. This means entering a relationship with a guy who is romantically attracted to you as you are to him.

Avoid assuming just any guy is “into” you. Affirm with the romantic interest that you two share similar attractiveness to each other. It’d help to know what you’re looking for in a potential boyfriend so that should you begin dating, you may be aware if a guy meets, surpasses, or isn’t up to your standards.

Sometimes, friend-zone occurs because you’re trying way too hard to be with someone who is way above your league. Do not be deceived, social status, education, and experiences often play vital roles in matching individuals than we’d like to let on.

Make yourself a “scarce commodity”

No, you’re not a commodity. The idea is simply the theory of supply and demand: higher demand would lead to increased supply. Think of yourself as the supply and him as demand.

By making yourself i.e. supply scare, demand for you would be higher and consequently, your value will shoot up. Maybe Taylor Swift was right after all, maybe guys do like “love when its torture”.

By making yourself scarce, you’re making it tougher for a tough guy to gain access to you. Reduce the time spent with him drastically. Sign up for new activities, take up new hobbies, do anything but spend more time with a romantic interest.

It’ll only be a matter of time before he comes chasing. Plot twist, if he doesn’t come chasing, change your course of actions to abort your romantic venture as he may truly not be interested. Sorry, sis! Love knocked you down.

Shoot your shot

It’s 2023 and everyone is moving quickly. Times have changed and women are encouraged to share their feelings more. If you’re feeling bold, try shooting your shot by telling him how you really feel.

Ask him out on a date. Start off casually and build things up until you pour your heart out, *cue romantic background music*

Prepare your mind too for the possibilities: he may be amused, laugh your confession off, confess his love for you, kiss you, walk out on you, runoff, reel hysterically with laughter, cry, say something stupid, chastise you —  the possibilities are endless.

By weighing in the possible options, you prepare your mind for both the best and worst.

If he accepts your love, great! If he doesn’t, raise your head high and move on with life.

Sky-rocket your attractiveness

I know this sounds vain. Especially if your love interest has confided how he’s into “au naturel, simple, girls” *rolls eyes*

Attractiveness is a core factor in initial romantic relationships. Take notes of areas you’re lacking in attractiveness and improve on them. Body language, shape, speech, grooming, are just a few major mediums to improve how attractive you are.

Trust that having done these, your romantic interest could potentially be “bae”.

Relationships

5 thoughtful gifts to get your partner for Christmas

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You know how we do in Naija when Christmas is just around the corner. This is the season of jollof rice, family vibes, and, of course, amazing gifts.

Now let’s be real when it comes to gifts. People are tired of boring and occasional gifts like Ankara fabrics, bland gift cards, and hampers, as these things fade away as soon as they are consumed. So this year let’s talk about five thoughtful gifts that’ll blow your partner’s mind and make this Christmas one for the books. These aren’t just gifts; they’re pure vibes.

Here are 5 thoughtful gifts to get your partner for Christmas.

1. Personalised jewellery

First up, we’ve got personalised jewellery. Trust me, this one hits every single time. Personalised gifts like this show your partner that you’ve put thought and effort into it.

Think about a necklace with their name, a bracelet engraved with your anniversary date, or a cute ring with a special message like “My Babe Forever.” Whether they wear it to Sunday service or flex it at a wedding, personalised jewellery is not just a gift; it’s a memory they carry with them.

There are plenty of Naija jewellers who can customise something stunning for you. Add a nice box and a handwritten note, and you’ve got yourself a top-tier gift that screams, “I care about you.”

2. Experience gifts

Sometimes, we just need a break from the daily hustle and city heat and traffic, and that’s why experience gifts are such a vibe.

It could be a weekend staycation in a luxury hotel, tickets to a Burna Boy or Asake concert, or even a relaxing spa date to help them recover from the December rush. For the adventurous ones, how about paragliding in Jos or hiking in Obudu?

It’s not just the experience itself; it’s the memories you create together. And trust me, you’ll be in their good books for a long, long time.

3. Custom photo book

Now this one is pure romance that brings back all the beautiful memories. Imagine creating a custom photo book filled with all the memories you and your partner have shared. From the cute selfies you took during your first date to the epic road trips or even those funny moments during wedding prep.

You can add captions like, “This was when we got stuck in Ajah traffic for five hours!” or “Our first beach date in Tarkwa Bay.” It’s more than just a gift; it’s your relationship in a book.

And the best part is that the memories are sweet, sentimental, and priceless. You can sit down together, flip through the pages, and laugh over all the memories.

4. Subscription boxes

Another perfect gift for your partner this Christmas season is a subscription box. Imagine your partner receiving a surprise package every month. It’s like Christmas 12 times a year.

From gourmet Nigerian snacks (think plantain chips, chin chin, and cashew nuts) to skincare products or even fitness gear, there’s a subscription box for everyone.

5. Handwritten love letters

In this digital age of WhatsApp messages and emojis, handwritten love letters are seriously underrated. Remind them why you fell in love, recount your favourite memories, and share your dreams for the future. You could even hide these letters in unexpected places—tuck one in their handbag or slide another under their pillow.

The beauty of a handwritten letter is that it lasts forever, even long after Christmas; your partner can pull it out, read it, and feel all warm and fuzzy. You can also add some local touches, like using Ankara stationery or a traditional wax-sealed envelope, and another gift, such as a photo album or a piece of jewellery.

Selecting a thoughtful gift for your partner this Christmas does not have to be difficult. These suggestions, ranging from personalised jewellery to handwritten love letters, emphasise the significance of effort and sentiment in gift-giving. The best gifts reflect your particular connection, making this season not just joyous but unforgettable.

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Relationships

Tiwa Savage opens up about her divorce from TeeBillz

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Tiwa Savage, the Nigerian singer, has opened up about her divorce from Tunji ‘TeeBillz‘ Balogun, her ex-husband.

The duo divorced in 2018 after efforts to resolve the differences in their marriage proved abortive.

In an interview with The Receipts Podcast, the ‘Kele Kele’ hitmaker revealed that her ex-husband was responsible for the divorce.

The award-winning songstress said at the time, she was struggling with postpartum depression after giving birth to their son.

The 44-year-old singer said she faced intense criticism from the public, with many attacking her without giving her a chance to share her side of the story.

She also recalled how some prominent figures advised her to remain silent about the incident to protect her reputation.

“When I came out, I was Nigeria’s sweetheart when I started and I could do no wrong in Nigerian’s eyes. I did everything by the book. I went to university and I wasn’t a baby mama. I got married then I had a baby so I did everything in the right order and everybody loved me and then everything happened,” she said.

“Then I started getting hate from blogs and I started getting hate from certain people. The way our situation happened, he announced it online. I didn’t break up with him but I was the one being attacked.

“At the time, my baby was just a few months old and I was dealing with postpartum and my body wasn’t the same and I was depressed. Everyone then went to him and only a few people came to see me.

“After I interviewed to tell my side of the story, it got worse. People were like ‘How dare you go and talk’ ‘You’re a woman and you’re supposed to build the house, it’s your fault’.

“I remember famous people calling me to ask how I could tell my side of the story cuz I’d never win. Ever since then, I was like I won’t ever talk about the situation because it was very heartbreaking how the public took it and blamed me.”

She added that the experience was an “eye-opener” that made her become “wild and carefree”.

“It was an eye-opener for me and it made me depressed for so long. It got me angry then I became the ‘African Bad Girl’,” she added.

“I thought to myself that after doing everything right I was still attacked. Then I started getting tattoos and wearing short skirts and bikini. I was just wild.”

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Relationships

Actress Etinosa Idemudia remarries in Lagos

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Etinosa Idemudia, the Nigerian actress, has tied the knot again, this time with a white man.

Etinosa took to her Instagram page to share a video of herself and her lover, whose name and nationality are yet to be revealed.

In the accompanying caption, the actress wrote, “I don carry my two left enter new relationship. Please wish me well ❤️ 💍”.

In another Instagram post on Thursday, Etinosa shared a photo from their legal wedding ceremony held at the Ikoyi Registry in Lagos.

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Bodex F. Hungbo, SPMIIM is a multiple award-winning Nigerian Digital Media Practitioner, Digital Strategist, PR consultant, Brand and Event Expert, Tv Presenter, Tier-A Blogger/Influencer, and a top cobbler in Nigeria.

She has widespread experiences across different professions and skills, which includes experiences in; Marketing, Media, Broadcasting, Brand and Event Management, Administration and Management with prior stints at MTN, NAPIMS-NNPC, GLOBAL FLEET OIL AND GAS, LTV, Silverbird and a host of others

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