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Thinking of dating a church member? Here are 5 things to consider

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If you are a consistent churchgoer, then there’s a likelihood that you are going to find someone you admire in church that you’d like to date.

It’s also possible that you would prefer to marry a church member because of shared ideology and how that would make your life easier, but before you jump into marriage, there is the dating phase where things can go awfully wrong. For instance:

Imagine that in private quarters, your boyfriend or girlfriend is still speaking spiritual lingo. You complain about how you had a bad day, and they are quoting scriptures about gratitude and the power of the tongue. You want to gist, but they want to do Bible study and prayer. All the cute things you imagined relationships to be have evaporated, and you are in church 24/7.

Yes, your hormones can come into play, and before you know it, you have ‘fallen’ into sin. Every time you engage in intercourse, you repent, only to do it again. The circle of guilt gnaws at you when you are lifting holy hands in church and can cause you to feel so disconnected that you stop going to church.

When a relationship ends badly, the best way to move forward is to delete traces of your ex from your life, but if you date a church member, you have to see them every service day, and the same feeling of anger, disappointment, or betrayal will rise whenever your eyes meet theirs, making the encounter very uncomfortable.

You are forced to witness your former partner move on and be happy for them in high definition. It gets even more strange when they get married and you are still a single pringle.

One unfortunate habit of overly religious people is that they think they are always right and try to enforce their morality on others. This habit can be overbearing in relationships if they never accept they are wrong and are always pointing fingers at you. It’s worse when you realise they are rude, untrustworthy, mismanage their finances, or are dirty and disorganised.

Dating is messy, and even in churches, it can get messy. That’s why you need to be extra careful about it.

One of the ways is by being transparent and having a senior member of the church ‘supervise’ the relationship and hold you both accountable, but that itself can be so invasive and stressful.

Another way to go about it is to ‘just be friends’ so you have the opportunity to observe the person properly before investing emotions. When you see that you actually like who they are outside the church, don’t date for a long time if you can help it. Take each other off the market.

Relationships

Here are 4 reasons men and women communicate differently — these can cause problems

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It seems that we already know everything about ourselves: how women and men think and speak.

But why then are there still so many misunderstandings, grudges and quarrels in our relationships? Or maybe we know but we don’t apply it?

While men focus more on action, women experience everything more emotionally. Some even say that women “think with their hearts.”

How are these two different worlds supposed to communicate now?

A woman should remember that if she does not tell her husband directly about her needs, emotions or expectations, he will not guess them himself. What would be obvious to another woman will not be obvious to your husband. It’s a waste of time.

The common belief that if he really loves me, it means that he knows me well and therefore should know what my desires or fears are, or what I feel at a given moment, is not true. Unfortunately, we have to tell him this.

You can even take on the noble task of teaching your husband about your emotions. But it takes time, patience and pedagogical skills. Otherwise, grievances and complaints arise, and the already tense relationship becomes even more difficult.

Let’s assume that our husband simply doesn’t understand our messages, and not that he has bad intentions and does – or doesn’t do – something on purpose. Besides, assuming good intentions of the other party in every relationship helps.

2. A woman wants to be heard

In turn, a woman has a need to talk about her feelings (emotive function of communication). Then she expects the man to listen calmly, empathise and show compassion.

This is a difficult art for male nature, but everything can be learned. If the husband does not satisfy this need, the wife will find, for example, a friend or another man – a confidant, and then this may mean the beginning of the end of the relationship.

A wife has the right to expect her husband to be interested and concerned about her affairs, as is the husband in his affairs. It is important for your husband to really learn to listen and not just pretend to listen.

When talking about their affairs, women devote a lot of space to feelings, and men focus mainly on facts (the information function of communication dominates). A woman needs understanding, support, taking care of her feelings, and not at all explaining that her behaviour is not logical, asking about the reasons for crying and proposing a solution – how to best deal with a given problem (and the proposal will be from a man’s point of view anyway, which cannot necessarily be used by a woman at all).

Then the husband cannot be surprised when his wife accuses him of “You don’t understand anything!”

Women, from their point of view, sometimes feel unreconciled with the fact that their husband does not tell everything. They suffer because of this, sometimes they even think that their husband has something to hide, they look for reasons that do not exist and torment themselves about it.

And a man simply does not have as much of a need to “extend himself” as a wife. There is no need to talk about everything and share everything with your wife. Especially when he has problems, he prefers to deal with them himself and wants to spare his wife unnecessary stress. But the wife may interpret such behavioUr incorrectly.

We seem to know all this, but what if we always remember it?

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Relationships

US actors Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez face new marital challenge

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American filmmaker Ben Affleck and his wife, actress Jennifer Lopez are facing a new challenge in their marital life as their ‘honeymoon’ phase is over.

According to Life & Style magazine, the celebrity couple has been dealing with long-distance issues as they are living separately due to their work commitments.

The report revealed that Affleck has been busy filming ‘The Accountant’ sequel in Los Angeles, whereas, the ‘Ain’t Your Mama’ singer is working on her projects in New York City.

A source said, “This is the first long stretch they’ve spent apart in a while. And they’re both dealing with it in different ways.”

In another report, an insider claimed that Jennifer Lopez has not been able to cope with navigating her life without Affleck.

The source shared that the actress and singer “wants constant affirmation from her husband that she’s loved and adored.”

However, Lopez is “not getting much of that now and Ben gets defensive and moody.”

“The honeymoon is definitely over. The feeling is if they want to stay married, they both need to make some adjustments in their behaviour,” an insider stated.

Jennifer Lopez and Affleck got engaged in the early 2000’s before calling it quits a few years later.

They got back in 2021, and married a year later, and both have been showing commitment to their marital vows.

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Relationships

Actress Stephanie Okereke-Linus, husband celebrate 13th wedding anniversary

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Nollywood actress Stephanie Okereke-Linus and her husband, Linus Idahosa, on Sunday, celebrated their 13th wedding anniversary.

The actress took to her Instagram page, @stephanielinus, to celebrate the milestone with a display of a picture of herself and her husband.

She wrote, “Cheers to 🥂Thirteen years of amazingness and building beautiful memories and dreams together.

“Each year, always better than the last.

“Happy 13th Anniversary, to us🌹” #Thirteen Years Strong #Happy Anniversary.”

Some fans also took to the comment section to congratulate the couple.

@Joycekalu said, “Happy anniversary sis.”

@Yomicasual, with an emoji wrote, “🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉.”

@Kelechiamadiobi said, “Big congratulations.”

Also, @DewumiHappy wrote “Happy anniversary 😍😍.”

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the couple got married in April, 21,2012, in Paris, France, at a private wedding ceremony.

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Bodex F. Hungbo, SPMIIM is a multiple award-winning Nigerian Digital Media Practitioner, Digital Strategist, PR consultant, Brand and Event Expert, Tv Presenter, Tier-A Blogger/Influencer, and a top cobbler in Nigeria.

She has widespread experiences across different professions and skills, which includes experiences in; Marketing, Media, Broadcasting, Brand and Event Management, Administration and Management with prior stints at MTN, NAPIMS-NNPC, GLOBAL FLEET OIL AND GAS, LTV, Silverbird and a host of others

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