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KIM KARDASHIAN RETURNS TO SOCIAL MEDIA!

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Our long national nightmare/respite is over, my Dash dolls.

Your beloved and buxom heroine Kim Kardashian has made a return to social media after nearly a month-long absence in the wake of her Paris robbery ordeal. And while a month off the grid is NBD to most normal people, Kim K. is not a normal person. This was essentially an eternity.

So what did her long awaited update say? Well, it wasn’t quite the soul-bearing fans had hoped for…

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KK posted this whateverish photo to her Facebook page–an unusual choice considering she’s the queen of Instagram–to promote her collaboration with the light-up Lumee cell phone cases (which I have and highly recommend for those too-dark photos of dark deeds in dark corners).

But fans noticed that the pic isn’t recent. It contains her Blackberry, which she doesn’t have anymore, so most likely this was a banked photo KK was contractually obligated to post–not an actual update or return to social media.

But she did make another SM appearance, this time on her app, reposting a video Kourtney shared of throwback Halloweens in the Kardashian household. Kim wrote, “Love these old videos!” which, again, isn’t much in the way of an actual “here’s what’s been going on with me” update.

I’ve also heard that she’s backed out of attending the social event of gala season, The Angel Ball, this month in NYC, where her late father Robert Kardashian is being honored. We know what a daddy’s girl Kimmy was, so for her to miss such an honor must mean she’s really doing poorly.

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Do you think there will ever come a time when KK opens up about her ordeal? Or could this be the end of KK’s life in the limelight as we know it?

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