Relationships
8 smart ways to make him last longer in bed
Arriving early on a date is a promising, positive sign that most would appreciate in a partner. But when that date is happening in the bedroom at sex o’clock, that’s the last thing you want. Whether he finishes quickly on occasion (after, say, a long week apart) or does so Every. Single. Time, you’re not a bad person for wanting to help him last longer in bed.
To be fair, the average duration of penetrative sex is estimated to be in the range of three to six minutes, says Jessica OReilly, PhD, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast . So, if your partner is in that range, they technically have a normal capacity for P-in-the-V sex. Still, if you (or both of you) aren’t walking away satisfied, that’s a problem. Luckily, it’s one that can be addressed.
Since you probably want to take care of this problem, like, now, I won’t hold you up any longer. Here’s exactly what you can do to help your guy last longer in bed, so you can both reach the finish line.
1. Suggest a pregame.
Before having sex, make masturbation part of your foreplay. “Tell him you want him to watch you touch yourself, he will love it,” says Emily Morse, PhD, host of the podcast Sex With Emily. Plus, it will help you get a head start and close the orgasm gap so that you’re both on the same page once you’re having sex.
2. Throw on a cock ring.
Cock rings go around the base of his penis, usually around the shaft, testicles, or both, OReilly says. They add pressure to the base of his penis, restricting blood flow. That can then delay his orgasm, helping him to last longer.
Not to mention, sex toys are always a good idea.
3. Try the squeeze technique.
Have your guy pull out when things start to get intense for him, then squeeze the head of his penis, suggests sex therapist Debra Laino , who has a doctorate in human sexuality.
You don’t have to do it really hard, but just before he feels like hes going to come, take a paus, and firmly put pressure on the shaft of his penis with your thumb and forefinger. The squeezing can help delay ejaculation, so you two can keep at it longer.
4. Consider using a condom.
I know, I know: No one wants to use a condom, especially when you don’t need to worry about STIs or unwanted pregnancy with a monogamous partner. But actually, in this case, you might: Condoms create an extra layer of separation between his penis and your vagina, so the fleshy sensation of penetration isn’t quite as intense. This can delay his orgasm just long enough to help you get yoursand you can always have him pull out and remove it at the last second before climax, if you both so wish.
Speaking of ditching condoms…does the pull-out method work?
5. Switch positions.
Most guys know when they’re about to orgasm (dear g-d, I hope so), so have yours switch positions when he feels like hes getting close, OReilly says.
You might even be able to tell whats up and take charge: You can usually feel your partners testicles tightening and lifting more significantly as he approaches orgasm, she says. When a man has an orgasm, he has two sets of contractions with each contraction an average of 0.8 seconds apart from the other, OReilly says. Moving at this pace, or faster, and with a predictable rhythm can cause him to orgasm, so slowing down or changing up the rhythm can potentially delay his release.
You might have to experiment here to see what works best for your guy. (Morse suggests trying moves like girl on top , which will help you control the pace.) Change things up a bit and talk about what he likes to reach a happy medium.
6. Take mini breaks.
No one says you have to go hard and fast the whole time, so put little stops and starts into the mix, Laino says. While having sex, have the man pull out and kiss a bit, essentially calming down the excitement, she says. This actually brings a much longer experience, which breeds deeper intimacy.
7. Have him do pelvic-floor exercises.
Fun fact: These aren’t just for you! Men can do pelvic-floor work, too, and it can make a big difference in the bedroom. One Swedish study published in 2014 found that men who did a few months of pelvic-floor exercises were able to improve their ability to control premature ejaculation. (To be clear, each of the men in the study suffered from lifelong PE issues.)
Whether or not your guy deals with that, encourage him to do some daily exercises while hes sitting at his desk at work. (He basically just has to squeeze the muscles between his tailbone and genitals.) It could make a big difference, OReilly says. If nothing else, it can’t hurt.
8. Keep going.
Just because he finishes doesn’t mean you have to, points out Rachel Needle , PsyD, a sex therapist and licensed psychologist at the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida. Laino agrees. Sex doesn’t have to stop at an orgasm, she says. If the afterplay keeps going, it is likely he will get another erection and last a little bit longer the second or third time.
As for you? It’s totally possible to score multiple orgasms in a single seshnow that you’ve gotten him to last longer, might as well make that your next project…
Relationships
Olajumoke Onibread narrates how ex-husband assaulted and ruined her career
Olajumoke Orisaguna, the Nigerian model famously known as Olajumoke Onibread, has recounted her harrowing experience with domestic abuse.
Olajumoke rose to fame in 2016 after accidentally walking into a photo shoot with British rapper Tinie Tempah, captured by TY Bello. However, she disappeared from the public eye, leaving many wondering about her whereabouts.
In a recent interview with City FM, Olajumoke alleged that she endured a toxic relationship with her ex-husband Sunday Orisaguna.
She said they lived in Ire, Osun state before she relocated to Lagos. The model described the environment at their Ire home as “hostile”, citing her mother-in-law’s “mistreatment” and Sunday’s “physical abuse”.
She said after relocating to Lagos, she started hawking bread before crossing paths with TY Bello. She said Sunday, however, joined her in Lagos, and the alleged abuse continued.
Olajumoke said she felt ashamed to deny claims of marriage due to their two children. She claimed that her career suffered after their separation, alleging that Sunday maligned her reputation and that of her supporters.
“The time we were in Ire, we stayed in my husband’s family house and there is no way you stay in that kind of place that you would not encounter problems. My mother-in-law was very hostile towards me and I would have to close my hairdressing shop on time just so I could go make dinner at home,” she said.
“And it was whatever she told her son is what he listens to. He would not even listen to my own side of the story before he started beating me up. Whenever me and his mother had misunderstandings, he would not even listen to me before hitting me. He would beat me to the extent that my face and body would be swollen. Sometimes he would even make use of a belt. That was when we were in Ire, Osun state.
“I would hide what was happening because I did not want my mom to hear. She also lived within the same vicinity as us. Before when I go and report to her, she’ll say she did not give me out in marriage to anyone. Even my mum’s younger sister was against me marrying him, as she had lived longer in Ire than me, so she knew what she was saying. But when the pregnancy issue happened, there was nothing anyone could do.
“So my mum will tell me she did not bless any marriage and she cannot also ask me to leave there, so she did not involve herself in the issue. When he beat me, I would not be able to wear short-sleeved clothes, but long-sleeved dresses. I did not tell anyone, only those who lived with us in the house knew about it. Fast forward to January 2016 when I wanted to move to Lagos, we were frying akara for his dad’s remembrance when I had an issue with his elder sister.
“As usual, he beat me up and I decided that I was going to leave, move to Lagos, and start working at the bakery because I had been there before. The third day after that incident, I packed my load and brought my two children with me to Lagos because I could not leave them there. Getting to the bakery, I had to explain to my friend what happened and she was happy that I had finally left because she was part of the people that warned me about him.
“What I am saying now, I have never said it out before. Even when I met TY Bello and I told her that I had a husband, my friend was furious when she found out. She was like I do not have sense, why would I say someone who beats me is my husband? I had to explain that I had to say that because I have children. That was how he came to Lagos. Even in the house that was rented for me in Surulere, he would still beat me up.
“I did not even tell TY Bello what was going on. I could not even admit that we were not married. I am a very gentle person so I did not tell anyone what was going on, I was enduring all of it. Sometimes when he goes out to drink, because he is someone to have a good time, when he gets back and a minor misunderstanding happens, he would start beating me again. It is almost four years since we separated.
“While he was beating me, he did not have a job. I was the one who would go out to hustle for us because I did not want my children to suffer. He would just stay at home and sleep or go out to drink. I did not even disturb him from doing these things, I just wanted him to stop beating me. Then he also started monitoring me when I went to work. If I go for photoshoots, sometimes I come back very late. He would accuse me of sleeping around with other men.
“So I decided to finally leave him. It got so bad that he would even start insulting my parents. It was when I separated from him, that was when everything started going down the drain because he started spoiling my name. All those who had helped me then, he started saying bad things against them. Since then, things started going down.”
Olajumoke has returned to the spotlight as a radio presenter with her talk show ‘Kilon Shele’.
She disclosed that her radio show will focus on her personal story, including her experiences with exploitative managers who took advantage of her lack of education.
Relationships
Fans confused as Chike poses with mystery woman
Chike, the Nigerian singer and songwriter, has sparked romance rumours after sharing an intimate photo with a mystery woman on Instagram.
The ‘Boo of the Booless’ hitmaker posted the picture on Wednesday, showcasing the pair in traditional Igbo and Yoruba attire.
He captioned the photo: “When I wake in the morning, I thank God for you”.
However, it remains unclear whether the photo is a glimpse into Chike’s personal life or a promotional shot for an upcoming music video.
Comments like “Happy married life o,” “my man pls don’t break my heart oo,” and “omo see as my heart cut babe stop naw” flooded the singer’s page.
The development comes as a surprise, considering Chike’s previous admission that he has never told a woman “I love you”.
In a 2022 interview, the 31-year-old singer revealed that saying “I love you” makes him feel vulnerable.
Relationships
Meagan Good, Jonathan Majors are engaged
The Hollywood stars Meagan Good and Jonathan Majors are engaged.
The couple announced their engagement on Sunday at the 2024 Ebony Power 100 List event held at Nya Studios in Los Angeles.
Meagan showed off her engagement ring while the lovebirds posed for loved-up photos on the red carpet.
They also revealed why they chose the particular event to go public with their engagement.
“Ebony Power 100 is the event that we met at in the bathrooms, in the unisex bathroom,” Meagan said.
Good was married to DeVon Franklin, the US pastor and producer, from 2012 to 2021. She and Majors were first linked romantically in May 2023.
Earlier this year, Good opened up about how friends advised her about the scrutiny she could face by being with him. She also discussed how she has stood by him through his challenges.
Majors was found guilty of assault in the third degree and harassment in December 2023, following a March 2023 arrest in New York.
He was arrested after allegedly assaulting Grace Jabbari, his ex-girlfriend.
In April 2024, Majors was sentenced to one year of domestic violence counseling, which includes a 52-week, in-person program in Los Angeles. He was also required to continue mental health therapy and provide regular updates on his progress.
Also, the court issued a permanent protective order between Majors and Jabbari, with potential jail time for any violations of his sentencing terms.
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