Relationships
Why women are likely to seek divorce after becoming more successful than their husbands
If a woman makes more money than her husband, there is a high chance she will divorce him.
A study revealed that married women have a significantly higher chance of getting divorced within three years of being promoted to the position of CEO compared to their male counterparts.
The study by Johanna Rickne, a professor at Stockholm University and co-author of the research published in the American Economic Journal, examined the lives of heterosexual men and women working for private enterprises with 100 or more employees. Using data spanning three decades, researchers found that women elected as mayors or members of parliament increased their likelihood of divorcing their partners.
75% were still married eight years after the vote, compared with 85% of those who didn’t get promoted, while there was no evidence of a similar effect for men. Female medical doctors, police officers, pastors and priests who progressed in their careers also followed the trend.
Economic and domestic inequality
Numerous couples face stress and tension when there are shifts in the distribution of their economic and social responsibilities, such as deciding who dedicates more time to the children? Who does more domestic chores? Who takes care of the household expenses? According to the research team, marital problems tend to intensify when women are promoted, as it creates a greater disparity in expectations.
American actress, Gabrielle Union said she divorced her first husband because she was shouldering all the financial and domestic burdens.
When it comes to gender equality, married life has not kept up with the progress in the labour force. Although there has been progress in the workforce, it is still considered somewhat uncommon for women to earn more money than their husbands and for men to play a supporting role in their spouses’ careers.
Power dynamics and ego
The person who has the upper hand in a marriage is usually the one who earns more; a woman earning more than her husband affects power dynamics. In contemporary times, men often feel thrilled at the beginning when their wives outearn them and try to portray themselves as supportive; however, as time goes on, it can be more challenging for them to cope with the situation since having fewer financial resources can cause them to feel powerless and weak.
Marriage doesn’t seem so beneficial to women any more
Many women become exhausted with marriage after spending considerable time yearning to be married, only to find that their marital expectations are not met. Experts suggest that women often have higher expectations for how their partners will fulfil their emotional needs, which can lead to disappointment after getting married as compared to men. This explains why 70% of divorces in Western countries are initiated by women.
Women tend to have more issues with their marriages
Men are typically trained to have lesser emotional intelligence than women, which leaves women to perform the majority of the emotional work in the relationship since they are primary communicators. Women may also be the first to voice issues that aren’t usually worked on, which may ultimately lead to separation or divorce.
Men benefit more from marriage
Working women may get “overwhelmed and stressed” as a result of having to shoulder the majority of domestic and financial responsibilities.
Additionally, women typically experience fewer emotional advantages from marriage, and in some instances, marriage benefits men more than it does women. Although married men enjoy numerous benefits, such as increased life expectancy and access to their chef and housekeeper through their wives, women generally do not experience the same advantages in their relationships.
Plus, most women stay in bad marriages in poor and underdeveloped countries because they lack economic means and independence.
The solution?
Women who marry rich older men tend to stay married to them. Despite the progressiveness and equality present in countries like Sweden, Rickne highlights that women still tend to choose to marry men who are older and wealthier than themselves.
It was said, “High-status, high-income ladies don’t wed low-status, house-husband-aspiring men. They frequently look for a wealthy husband.”
Another solution is for married couples to match each other in success and drive and be supportive of each other.
The situation in Africa is different, since laws, religion and culture seem to put women in a more subservient position in the society and financially and divorce is difficult and expensive.
Relationships
Olajumoke Onibread narrates how ex-husband assaulted and ruined her career
Olajumoke Orisaguna, the Nigerian model famously known as Olajumoke Onibread, has recounted her harrowing experience with domestic abuse.
Olajumoke rose to fame in 2016 after accidentally walking into a photo shoot with British rapper Tinie Tempah, captured by TY Bello. However, she disappeared from the public eye, leaving many wondering about her whereabouts.
In a recent interview with City FM, Olajumoke alleged that she endured a toxic relationship with her ex-husband Sunday Orisaguna.
She said they lived in Ire, Osun state before she relocated to Lagos. The model described the environment at their Ire home as “hostile”, citing her mother-in-law’s “mistreatment” and Sunday’s “physical abuse”.
She said after relocating to Lagos, she started hawking bread before crossing paths with TY Bello. She said Sunday, however, joined her in Lagos, and the alleged abuse continued.
Olajumoke said she felt ashamed to deny claims of marriage due to their two children. She claimed that her career suffered after their separation, alleging that Sunday maligned her reputation and that of her supporters.
“The time we were in Ire, we stayed in my husband’s family house and there is no way you stay in that kind of place that you would not encounter problems. My mother-in-law was very hostile towards me and I would have to close my hairdressing shop on time just so I could go make dinner at home,” she said.
“And it was whatever she told her son is what he listens to. He would not even listen to my own side of the story before he started beating me up. Whenever me and his mother had misunderstandings, he would not even listen to me before hitting me. He would beat me to the extent that my face and body would be swollen. Sometimes he would even make use of a belt. That was when we were in Ire, Osun state.
“I would hide what was happening because I did not want my mom to hear. She also lived within the same vicinity as us. Before when I go and report to her, she’ll say she did not give me out in marriage to anyone. Even my mum’s younger sister was against me marrying him, as she had lived longer in Ire than me, so she knew what she was saying. But when the pregnancy issue happened, there was nothing anyone could do.
“So my mum will tell me she did not bless any marriage and she cannot also ask me to leave there, so she did not involve herself in the issue. When he beat me, I would not be able to wear short-sleeved clothes, but long-sleeved dresses. I did not tell anyone, only those who lived with us in the house knew about it. Fast forward to January 2016 when I wanted to move to Lagos, we were frying akara for his dad’s remembrance when I had an issue with his elder sister.
“As usual, he beat me up and I decided that I was going to leave, move to Lagos, and start working at the bakery because I had been there before. The third day after that incident, I packed my load and brought my two children with me to Lagos because I could not leave them there. Getting to the bakery, I had to explain to my friend what happened and she was happy that I had finally left because she was part of the people that warned me about him.
“What I am saying now, I have never said it out before. Even when I met TY Bello and I told her that I had a husband, my friend was furious when she found out. She was like I do not have sense, why would I say someone who beats me is my husband? I had to explain that I had to say that because I have children. That was how he came to Lagos. Even in the house that was rented for me in Surulere, he would still beat me up.
“I did not even tell TY Bello what was going on. I could not even admit that we were not married. I am a very gentle person so I did not tell anyone what was going on, I was enduring all of it. Sometimes when he goes out to drink, because he is someone to have a good time, when he gets back and a minor misunderstanding happens, he would start beating me again. It is almost four years since we separated.
“While he was beating me, he did not have a job. I was the one who would go out to hustle for us because I did not want my children to suffer. He would just stay at home and sleep or go out to drink. I did not even disturb him from doing these things, I just wanted him to stop beating me. Then he also started monitoring me when I went to work. If I go for photoshoots, sometimes I come back very late. He would accuse me of sleeping around with other men.
“So I decided to finally leave him. It got so bad that he would even start insulting my parents. It was when I separated from him, that was when everything started going down the drain because he started spoiling my name. All those who had helped me then, he started saying bad things against them. Since then, things started going down.”
Olajumoke has returned to the spotlight as a radio presenter with her talk show ‘Kilon Shele’.
She disclosed that her radio show will focus on her personal story, including her experiences with exploitative managers who took advantage of her lack of education.
Relationships
Fans confused as Chike poses with mystery woman
Chike, the Nigerian singer and songwriter, has sparked romance rumours after sharing an intimate photo with a mystery woman on Instagram.
The ‘Boo of the Booless’ hitmaker posted the picture on Wednesday, showcasing the pair in traditional Igbo and Yoruba attire.
He captioned the photo: “When I wake in the morning, I thank God for you”.
However, it remains unclear whether the photo is a glimpse into Chike’s personal life or a promotional shot for an upcoming music video.
Comments like “Happy married life o,” “my man pls don’t break my heart oo,” and “omo see as my heart cut babe stop naw” flooded the singer’s page.
The development comes as a surprise, considering Chike’s previous admission that he has never told a woman “I love you”.
In a 2022 interview, the 31-year-old singer revealed that saying “I love you” makes him feel vulnerable.
Relationships
Meagan Good, Jonathan Majors are engaged
The Hollywood stars Meagan Good and Jonathan Majors are engaged.
The couple announced their engagement on Sunday at the 2024 Ebony Power 100 List event held at Nya Studios in Los Angeles.
Meagan showed off her engagement ring while the lovebirds posed for loved-up photos on the red carpet.
They also revealed why they chose the particular event to go public with their engagement.
“Ebony Power 100 is the event that we met at in the bathrooms, in the unisex bathroom,” Meagan said.
Good was married to DeVon Franklin, the US pastor and producer, from 2012 to 2021. She and Majors were first linked romantically in May 2023.
Earlier this year, Good opened up about how friends advised her about the scrutiny she could face by being with him. She also discussed how she has stood by him through his challenges.
Majors was found guilty of assault in the third degree and harassment in December 2023, following a March 2023 arrest in New York.
He was arrested after allegedly assaulting Grace Jabbari, his ex-girlfriend.
In April 2024, Majors was sentenced to one year of domestic violence counseling, which includes a 52-week, in-person program in Los Angeles. He was also required to continue mental health therapy and provide regular updates on his progress.
Also, the court issued a permanent protective order between Majors and Jabbari, with potential jail time for any violations of his sentencing terms.
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