Relationships
‘Shut up’, ‘you’re a failure’… seven words you should never say to your partner
In every relationship no matter how beautiful, there’s bound to be conflicts of interest between the two parties involved.
With conflicting interests, arguments occur. But arguments and misunderstandings can be properly managed with the right amount of civility and objectivity from both parties involved.
To handle conflict maturely, certain words and phrases must be avoided. This is because words are powerful; leaving a lasting impression on the subconscious of our loved ones. It is important therefore, to remain calm during arguments or during a misunderstanding and carefully select the words we use.
For longer lasting relationships, avoid using these seven phrases with your partner;
Shut Up
The phrase, ‘shut up’ tends to fly around easily during arguments. Usually, in the heat of the moment, blurting out this hurtful phrase is an attempt at imposing an end to the discussion on your partner.
Asides being hurtful, ‘shutting your partner up’ is highly disrespectful as it implies you have little regard for their opinion and what they have to say at that moment.
Should you feel reluctant to engage in an argument or discussion with your partner, simply suggest to them politely that you’d rather have that conversation on a later time.
I Wish I Never Dated You
Saying these words or ‘i wish i never married you’ to your partner begets serious repercussions even when said ‘harmlessly’.
Similarly, blurting out comparisons between your partner and your ex for instance, is completely foul and disrespectful. Never for instance, say things, “I wish you could be more like [insert ex’s name]”.
You’re a Failure
Nobody deserves to be humiliated because they do not meet your expectations for them least of all, your lover. If you feel your partner is a failure, you probably have no business dating them in the first place.
Of course, this doesn’t mean it’s inappropriate to encourage your beau/belle to do better. In fact, being a force of raw and uncut honesty and support system for your partner whenever they flop is a blessing. But in doing so, being sympathetic, patient, and loving is sure to drive your partner into doing better.
You’re an Idiot
Along with every other curse word or phrase is a huge no, no. Should you feel frustrated, or hurt by your partner, convey your feelings to them respectfully.
You’re Too Fat/Skinny
As ‘helpful’ as you may feel uttering this to your partner, this is pure suicide. Bodyshaming isn’t restricted to harsh or over-dramatic comments alone. Telling your partner they are too fat or thin is a sure ticket to letting them know you do not appreciate them just the way they are.
Truly depressing
If for medical reasons, you’re concerned about your partner’s weight, book them an appointment with a medical specialist and support them the best way you can.
I’m Leaving You
In whatever form aid, this phrase should be avoided unless actually meant.
Avoid threatening or emotionally blackmailing your partner with threats of divorce or break up. It’s not only a sad attempt at getting their attention, but also a seed that when germinated, could actually lead to an actual separation.
I’m Sorry But
Uttering this phrase to your partner, negates your apology. By including ‘but’ in an apology, you’re indirectly half-assing an apology to your partner.
This means that despite your wrongdoings towards them, your actions are justifiable. Not a great move if you plan on making your relationship work.
Sure these are not the only words to avoid saying to your partner as there are a number of similarly abominable words and phrases.
In learning how to accurately communicate with your beau/belle, insist on treating them first with respect, decency, and love no matter the situation.
Relationships
Olajumoke Onibread narrates how ex-husband assaulted and ruined her career
Olajumoke Orisaguna, the Nigerian model famously known as Olajumoke Onibread, has recounted her harrowing experience with domestic abuse.
Olajumoke rose to fame in 2016 after accidentally walking into a photo shoot with British rapper Tinie Tempah, captured by TY Bello. However, she disappeared from the public eye, leaving many wondering about her whereabouts.
In a recent interview with City FM, Olajumoke alleged that she endured a toxic relationship with her ex-husband Sunday Orisaguna.
She said they lived in Ire, Osun state before she relocated to Lagos. The model described the environment at their Ire home as “hostile”, citing her mother-in-law’s “mistreatment” and Sunday’s “physical abuse”.
She said after relocating to Lagos, she started hawking bread before crossing paths with TY Bello. She said Sunday, however, joined her in Lagos, and the alleged abuse continued.
Olajumoke said she felt ashamed to deny claims of marriage due to their two children. She claimed that her career suffered after their separation, alleging that Sunday maligned her reputation and that of her supporters.
“The time we were in Ire, we stayed in my husband’s family house and there is no way you stay in that kind of place that you would not encounter problems. My mother-in-law was very hostile towards me and I would have to close my hairdressing shop on time just so I could go make dinner at home,” she said.
“And it was whatever she told her son is what he listens to. He would not even listen to my own side of the story before he started beating me up. Whenever me and his mother had misunderstandings, he would not even listen to me before hitting me. He would beat me to the extent that my face and body would be swollen. Sometimes he would even make use of a belt. That was when we were in Ire, Osun state.
“I would hide what was happening because I did not want my mom to hear. She also lived within the same vicinity as us. Before when I go and report to her, she’ll say she did not give me out in marriage to anyone. Even my mum’s younger sister was against me marrying him, as she had lived longer in Ire than me, so she knew what she was saying. But when the pregnancy issue happened, there was nothing anyone could do.
“So my mum will tell me she did not bless any marriage and she cannot also ask me to leave there, so she did not involve herself in the issue. When he beat me, I would not be able to wear short-sleeved clothes, but long-sleeved dresses. I did not tell anyone, only those who lived with us in the house knew about it. Fast forward to January 2016 when I wanted to move to Lagos, we were frying akara for his dad’s remembrance when I had an issue with his elder sister.
“As usual, he beat me up and I decided that I was going to leave, move to Lagos, and start working at the bakery because I had been there before. The third day after that incident, I packed my load and brought my two children with me to Lagos because I could not leave them there. Getting to the bakery, I had to explain to my friend what happened and she was happy that I had finally left because she was part of the people that warned me about him.
“What I am saying now, I have never said it out before. Even when I met TY Bello and I told her that I had a husband, my friend was furious when she found out. She was like I do not have sense, why would I say someone who beats me is my husband? I had to explain that I had to say that because I have children. That was how he came to Lagos. Even in the house that was rented for me in Surulere, he would still beat me up.
“I did not even tell TY Bello what was going on. I could not even admit that we were not married. I am a very gentle person so I did not tell anyone what was going on, I was enduring all of it. Sometimes when he goes out to drink, because he is someone to have a good time, when he gets back and a minor misunderstanding happens, he would start beating me again. It is almost four years since we separated.
“While he was beating me, he did not have a job. I was the one who would go out to hustle for us because I did not want my children to suffer. He would just stay at home and sleep or go out to drink. I did not even disturb him from doing these things, I just wanted him to stop beating me. Then he also started monitoring me when I went to work. If I go for photoshoots, sometimes I come back very late. He would accuse me of sleeping around with other men.
“So I decided to finally leave him. It got so bad that he would even start insulting my parents. It was when I separated from him, that was when everything started going down the drain because he started spoiling my name. All those who had helped me then, he started saying bad things against them. Since then, things started going down.”
Olajumoke has returned to the spotlight as a radio presenter with her talk show ‘Kilon Shele’.
She disclosed that her radio show will focus on her personal story, including her experiences with exploitative managers who took advantage of her lack of education.
Relationships
Fans confused as Chike poses with mystery woman
Chike, the Nigerian singer and songwriter, has sparked romance rumours after sharing an intimate photo with a mystery woman on Instagram.
The ‘Boo of the Booless’ hitmaker posted the picture on Wednesday, showcasing the pair in traditional Igbo and Yoruba attire.
He captioned the photo: “When I wake in the morning, I thank God for you”.
However, it remains unclear whether the photo is a glimpse into Chike’s personal life or a promotional shot for an upcoming music video.
Comments like “Happy married life o,” “my man pls don’t break my heart oo,” and “omo see as my heart cut babe stop naw” flooded the singer’s page.
The development comes as a surprise, considering Chike’s previous admission that he has never told a woman “I love you”.
In a 2022 interview, the 31-year-old singer revealed that saying “I love you” makes him feel vulnerable.
Relationships
Meagan Good, Jonathan Majors are engaged
The Hollywood stars Meagan Good and Jonathan Majors are engaged.
The couple announced their engagement on Sunday at the 2024 Ebony Power 100 List event held at Nya Studios in Los Angeles.
Meagan showed off her engagement ring while the lovebirds posed for loved-up photos on the red carpet.
They also revealed why they chose the particular event to go public with their engagement.
“Ebony Power 100 is the event that we met at in the bathrooms, in the unisex bathroom,” Meagan said.
Good was married to DeVon Franklin, the US pastor and producer, from 2012 to 2021. She and Majors were first linked romantically in May 2023.
Earlier this year, Good opened up about how friends advised her about the scrutiny she could face by being with him. She also discussed how she has stood by him through his challenges.
Majors was found guilty of assault in the third degree and harassment in December 2023, following a March 2023 arrest in New York.
He was arrested after allegedly assaulting Grace Jabbari, his ex-girlfriend.
In April 2024, Majors was sentenced to one year of domestic violence counseling, which includes a 52-week, in-person program in Los Angeles. He was also required to continue mental health therapy and provide regular updates on his progress.
Also, the court issued a permanent protective order between Majors and Jabbari, with potential jail time for any violations of his sentencing terms.
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