Kaffy, the Nigerian dancer, says having children should not be a requirement for people to get married.
In a Facebook live session with Daddy Freeze, she argued that it is wrong to force people into marriage because they had children out of wedlock.
“If my son grows up and realizes he has battled with keeping a woman and he is trying to make a decision, I will advise him not to get married,” she said.
“I am not the kind of parent that will say ooh because she is pregnant, marry her. I am not going to do that.
“I do not believe that having kids should tie anybody into matrimonial bondage. Not everyone that has children should be a parent, they do not even have parental qualities.
“I think tradition sometimes puts us in some kind of cage, you give am belle, marry am. But unfortunately, humanity is complicated, everything is not black and white, and there are grey areas in human behavior.
“Should I marry a lunatic just because they are pregnant for me? Or should I marry someone that is not wise? I think the choice is in the reasoning, I am not going to tell my son to marry if he is not what a responsible husband will be.”
Kaffy and Joseph Ameh, the music producer, tied the knot in 2012.
In 2022, she confirmed the end of their union, which produced two children.
5 reasons age gaps matter when it comes to dating
Have soulmates lost each other because of differences in age?.
In a world where we have levels, classes and statuses for relationships, there is a category for age when it comes to dating.
Certainly, it would feel somehow if an 18-year-old girl is seen with a 30-year-old man. But 15 years later, when that same 18-year-old is now 33 and the 30-year-old is now 45, is it still considered a societal taboo?
In my opinion, anyone between the ages of 21 to 25 years is allowed to date whomever, regardless of age, class or status because they are considered mature in the eyes of everyone.
Do age gaps matter when it comes to dating or is the side-eye for them placed to avoid chaotic or societal issues such as manipulation or abuse of the younger party in the relationship?
Outside the taboo politics, age gaps can be a factor in dating for several reasons and can influence compatibility in various ways. These include;
1. Life stages
People of different ages often have different life priorities and goals. For example, someone in their 20s may be more focused on building a career or exploring their independence, while someone in their 40s might be looking to settle down and start a family.
These differences can create challenges if the individuals involved are not aligned.
2. Social perception
Society often holds certain expectations and stereotypes about age differences in relationships. Couples with substantial age gaps may face judgment, criticism, or interrogations from friends, family, or the broader community.
This social pressure can add stress to the relationship.
3. Power dynamics
In relationships with significant age disparities, there’s the potential for power imbalances. The older partner may have more life experience and financial stability, which can affect decision-making and influence the relationship.
4. Shared interests and experiences
People of similar ages are more likely to have shared cultural, experiences and interests. While age differences can certainly bring fresh perspectives to a relationship, substantial gaps may make it harder to connect on a deeper level.
5. Legal considerations
In some places, there are legal age restrictions on dating or sexual relationships, particularly when one person is a minor. These laws exist to protect individuals who may be vulnerable due to their age.
It’s important to note that while age can be a factor, it doesn’t have to be a strict limit. Many successful and fulfilling relationships have substantial age differences and thrive because the individuals involved share mutual respect and common values.
Would you consider dating someone with significant age difference?
Six tips for building a healthy romantic relationship
You know that thing they say about not taking relationship advice from a single person? Well, that is going to happen if you read through this article. But believe me, couples in healthy relationships swear by them.
No matter how beautiful a romantic relationship is, they all are not without their ups and downs. And hence, the need for some advice now and then.
But we both know that not all relationship advice is good (even though some are dished out with good intentions). However, we must acknowledge that some advice when it comes to romantic relationships is pretty solid and hits the nail on the proverbial head.
So what constitutes good advice? In this piece, we’ll be touching on some of them and although I label them as good advice, for you, it might not be so.
- Do Not Let Third Parties Control Your Relationship
It’s good for the people in your life informed about certain aspects of your relationship. However, this shouldn’t be without boundaries.
Relationships strive for intimacy and this can only happen between the two people involved in the relationship and no one more. For this reason, third-party opinions and control should never have a place in such a relationship.
Let the people in your life know their boundaries when it comes to your romantic relationship. And instead of taking everyone of your relationship problem to the most available friend or family member, introspect, talk things over with your partner, or go to someone who has credible experience in relationships for advice.
Keep your relationship more intimate than “out there” to avoid unnecessary drama.
- Be Kind To Your Partner Before Getting Mad At Them
Whether you like it or not, your partner is human first before being the one you love. And hence, they’ll be times their weaknesses will pop out.
You’ll be greeted by their ugly sides and it’ll not be pretty at all. But always try to remember to think kindly towards your partner before getting angry at them.
If you do this, you’ll soon discover that most of the time a loved one is being annoying, it’s usually triggered by dissatisfaction, or unhappiness, from their end. Sometimes, they might be acting up just because they’re trying to feel less overwhelmed as they are.
- Learn To Really Speak To Each Other
You’ve probably heard a million times that communication is key in romantic relationships.
In fact, you’ve heard this phrase one-too-many times that you’ve gotten so familiar with it that it doesn’t really mean a lot anymore.
But communicating is very important. It is what fuels every relationship including a Romantic one. This doesn’t come naturally so some extra effort must be put into learning each other’s styles of communication. What is your partner’s love language? What is their conflict style? What sort of tone do they most communicate in? When are they the most comfortable to talk? All of these and more, you must learn to talk effectively with your partner.
- Yes, Spice Things Up!
Another phrase that has become mundane but is quite important is this.
Relationships will grow dull, routines could grow mundane, and being with the same person could cause too much familiarity.
Hence, “spicing things up” — creatively adopting new habits, exploring exciting things together will stir a ripple effect in your relationship.
- Be Ready To Sacrifice
As far as love is concerned, sacrifices are a must. Get into romantic relationships knowing fully well you make sacrifices.
Be ready to sacrifice for the one you love and be ready to do so without a grudge.
- Always Remember To Be An Individual
It’s quite easy to want to fade into the person with whom you’re in a relationship. But do not fall for this trap.
Always remember that before meeting your love interest, you were an individual first. Keep this in mind and work hard at being yourself while in a relationship. Pursue your dreams, (but by all means, make sacrifices here and there), marry your beliefs with that of your partner, all in all, always remember to lend your voice in your relationship. Express your thoughts and feelings.
Do any of these make sense to you? Would you reconsider taking relationship advice from another single person? Let me know in the comments.
Sophie Turner sues Joe Jonas for wrongfully detaining their kids in the US
Sophie Turner has slammed her estranged husband Joe Jonas with a lawsuit, claiming that he has held their children’s passports hostage.
According to People Magazine, the Game of Thrones actress has called for “the immediate return of children wrongfully removed or wrongfully retained,” in the paperwork filed on September 20, 2023.
Sophie, filed these documents in a federal court, citing the international treaty, Hague Convention which deals with child abduction across country lines.
The actress detailed that she and Jonas had agreed to raise their two daughters Willa and J.D. in England as their ‘forever home’ just in December of 2022, which was why they sold their Miami home in preparation. She also stressed in the paperwork that before the divorce papers were filed, Jonas was in temporary custody of their girls because he had more daylight hours to spend with them in comparison to her and her gruelling shooting hours in the UK.
The actress also disclosed that she found out that Jonas had filed for divorce from her via social media days after he filed. Turner’s paperwork stated that afterwards, she visited her estranged husband to discuss taking the children back to England with her, during which he “refused to return the passports to the Mother and refuses to send the children home to England with the Mother.”
Jonas filed for divorce from Turner on September 1, 2023, to the sheer shock of their fans especially because Turner had posted a lovey-dovey picture of them a week before. Now, according to her, their marriage had an abrupt breakdown after their fight on August 15.
The two met in 2016 and got engaged a year later, then wed in two ceremonies: the first a private, intimate ceremony in Las Vegas and the second, a larger wedding in Paris.
Now it seems like the ‘picture-perfect’ marriage is crumbling, and it’s crumbling fast.
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Bodex F. Hungbo, SPMIIM is a multiple award-winning Nigerian Digital Media Practitioner, Digital Strategist, PR consultant, Brand and Event Expert, Tv Presenter, Tier-A Blogger/Influencer, and a top cobbler in Nigeria.
She has widespread experiences across different professions and skills, which includes experiences in; Marketing, Media, Broadcasting, Brand and Event Management, Administration and Management with prior stints at MTN, NAPIMS-NNPC, GLOBAL FLEET OIL AND GAS, LTV, Silverbird and a host of others
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